A Slower Pace

This was the scene out my bedroom window last night. I have a nice but brief stay with my folks this weekend. And I had many of these beautiful moments – with nature and with family.

…..Dan at aslowerpace dot net

Before you read this post, catch yourself up by reading:

• Friday’s post – Engaged fathers…..
• Sharing worship – part 1…..

So there we were – worshiping with our new friends Freddy and Sheena among a few thousand of the body of Christ. I did prep them ahead of time — that it was a very large church; that there would be a lot of people; that the worship, music and message would be impactful. Oh, and did I say that it was a large church? In fact, while we were getting the kids checked in Freddy mentioned that it seemed like a convention center. And he should know because that is his 11pm to 7am job.

The sermon, as always, was spectacular — The End of Me – Where Real Life Begins. This week’s was #3 in the series entitled “The End of My Performance” and hit home to any of us who have followed God’s rules, done what we thought was right, or “put on a happy face” so that we could get “credit”, get noticed or get acceptance. Pastor Kyle equated it to getting stickers in Sunday School for attendance, bringing your Bible, memorizing verses or singing songs. While those are good habits, so many of us continue that “performance for stickers” into our adulthood faith leaving our hearts empty while we focus on our outside appearance and behavior. That is exactly the opposite of what God intends because He is way more concerned with our inside hearts than our outside appearances.

That sermon message made my previous fears, doubts and concerns seem so fickle, small and flacid. While they did consume some of my time and thoughts, I was so grateful that God did not allow them to paralyze me to inaction. I continued to be reminded of 1 John 3:18:
“Dear children, let us not love with words or speech but with actions and in truth.”

Post service we reunited with their kids and asked if they would like to join us for an early lunch. Freddy and Sheena were grateful and accepted our invitation. They made a statement that hit me – it was the first time their family had been out to eat a meal in over 2 years. Wow! Something my family and I completely take for granted is a rare occurrence for them. It was humbling and gave me a different perspective that I need to keep as a reminder.

We hit the nearby Cracker Barrel and were greeted with a half hour wait which I assume is normal for that location on a Sunday after a mega-church service concludes. However, it was a great opportunity to hang outside the restaurant where they have all those rocking chairs and checkers for the kids to play with. It also allowed my kids time to interact with their kids. And soon enough, we were seated.

Because we were a party of 10, we couldn’t be seated together. And while I viewed that as an unfortunate disappointment, I believe it was God’s intention. You see, it allowed my three kids to sit with their oldest, the moms and two young boys to sit together, and for Freddy and me to share a meal. So not only did that personal 1 on 1 time provide us the opportunity to get to know them as individuals, it gave me time to minister to Freddy, father to father, husband to husband and my wife time to minister to Sheena, mother to mother, wife to wife. I could not have planned it better and it was another reminder of God’s master plan being so much better than my own plan.

On our way out of Cracker Barrel, we bought each of the kids a small candy and loaded into the Tahoe for the ride back to Wayside Christian Mission while our kids took the other car home. We continued getting to know Freddy and Sheena and encouraged them on their path. It was important that we wind our visit down so Freddy could catch a few hours of sleep before his next job at 2pm. I was impressed and thankful he sacrificed his few hours of sleep so he could be with his family and us at worship. That is his current focus and I am humbled to be able to support and encourage him. So many others in his situation would be wise to follow his courageous lead. So many of society’s problems would be better if folks buckled down, focused, and loved and provided for their family like he is trying to do. It might not be perfect, but it sure beats sitting on your butt collecting a gov’t check while blaming others for the poop you are sitting in.

We’ll see what God has in store for their family and for ours.

…..Dan at aslowerpace dot net

• Easy
• Convenient
• Culturally acceptable
• Discard of problem
• Inexpensive solution
• Distraction

Those words came to me while I was in prayer in front of the abortion center this morning. They are the weapons the evil one uses to get folks to walk through the doors to kill their unborn. And unfortunately, they are temporarily effective enough to shield the evil enough to get the act done.

And then I was prompted to search for words that I can use as weapons in this fight and struggle:

• LOVE
• PRAYER
• TRUTH
• Fruits of the Spirit – love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self control (Galatians 5:22-23)

And while, at times, the battle appears to be shifting towards the foe, I am confident that the weapons of God — LOVE, PRAYER, TRUTH and the fruits of the Spirit — are much stronger and effective, especially in the perspective of eternity — which is how God views things.

…..Dan at aslowerpace dot net

Today I am spending my day at the annual Global Leadership Summit hosted (and remotely simulcast) by Willow Creek Church. Below are my notes from opening speaker (and Willow’s pastor) Bill Hybels.

I am looking forward to what the rest of the summit has in store.

…..Dan at aslowerpace dot net

This was my wife’s Facebook post to me this morning. I am so blessed.

I think the best gift I can give anyone is prayer and since I have no money to buy you that scope you want I am going to (as soon as I am done typing this) go into my peaceful spot and pray for you.
So this is my bday gift to you:

That you walk humbly with God.
That you continue to grow spiritually.
That you be a Disciple and share the gospel.
That you do His will.
That God protect your heart from sinful nature.
That the words you speak build and encourage your family and friends and especially strangers.
That God bless your friendships.
That you be healthy and honor your body.
That you be a man of peace and let the Holy Spirit guide you.
That you always be a man of courage and protect us from evil.
That you be prayerful and ask God for direction, guidance and discernment.
That you always have a servants heart.
That you always put God first, before me or the kids.
That God be glorified in all the ways you serve Him.

And I will praise God for the man that you are, for your hard work that provides for our family, for your extrovert personality that brings me out of my shell, for blessing our marriage and for putting you in my life. You are my Boaz. I love you and dang you look good for being “29”! Happy Birthday!

…..Dan at aslowerpace dot net

In last Friday’s post, I shared the story of meeting Freddy and his family at Wayside Christian Mission and how I (directed by the Holy Spirit) invited them to worship with me and my family on Sunday.

Now let me remind you of the doubts and fears that assailed me all weekend. Below are some snippets:

• You are going to have to go ALL the way downtown to pick them up only to backtrack 20 minutes.
• You don’t know these people. How are the kids going to act? What are they going to wear?
• This is really going to disrupt your family’s normal worship time together. Your wife covets family time.
• What do you think this is — the Blind Side movie?
• You don’t know what is going to happen? What will all those church people think?

I had to remember two things:

• God’s got this
• Satan assails the strongest when we are closest to doing God’s will

And so, not knowing what to expect, I first crossed the bridge of telling my wife. You see, I love her so much but we are different in our comfort levels of many things. I tend to be more extroverted and more spontaneous. In the past, those traits have put me and her in challenging situations – mostly socially (like inviting all the guys over to watch football when she had a nice family day planned). I have learned to scale back and to also confirm schedules with her prior to making any commitments. However, because I was outside of my comfort zone, I knew she also would be. Additionally, I had not confirmed our schedule. But my wife took it all in stride and completely supported my action. The first prayer had been answered.

Next up was the logistical challenge of getting two families composed of 9 people to church on time. The meeting time I had planned left buffer room for minor adjustments. I was glad I woke up 30 minutes earlier than the alarm I set and I turned out needing all those minutes. I left on schedule and arrived 30 minutes later downtown on schedule. Sheena and the three kids were all ready in the lobby and I was excited because things were materializing as I had envisioned — no no-shows, no traffic detours, no miscommunication. I parked, got out and greeted all the kids. I was happy to see them all and they looked good. I was ready to pack them all up in my car when Sheena informed me that Freddy would also be joining us. That was good and bad news. Good because I have been praying for Freddy’s faith and that he will see and feel the love of Christ. Bad because there were six of us now and my car only has seat belts for five. Additionally, he had just gotten off his second job that goes 11pm to 7:30am and was still upstairs taking a shower. So we proceeded to consume the buffer time I built in.

Soon enough we were all packed into my car and headed to worship. It was nice to spend time chatting and getting to know the family. They were grateful for the love, attention and opportunity to get away from the shelter and go to church. They have been at the shelter for 3 weeks but are not able to spend much time together because of Freddy’s two jobs and because Wayside does not allow families to stay together. The men must stay with men and the women and children stay together. There are also some folks at the shelter – both workers and visitors – that are not so pleasant either in aroma, attitude, or behavior. Freddy and Sheena are thankful for what it is but also realize that it is not a place for a family to stay long. They are on a waiting list for the Wayside hotel – where families can stay together – as well as trying to get their feet under them so they can achieve their longer term goal of getting an apartment. I was glad to hear they had goals and glad to hear they were doing what was in their control to improve their situation. Having spent almost 3 years down at Wayside, I have seen people absolve themselves of all responsibility for their circumstances instead blaming anything they can – gov’t, the economy, Wayside, business, the streets, others around them, etc. That is not to say that all of those might not be contributing causes but ultimately, we are each recipient of the choices we make each day which can either empower or imprison us.

We arrived to church with time to spare – however, we still had to check the kids into the kids worship and classrooms. Because they were new, that process took extra time. The volunteer coordinators, teachers and facilitators were spectacular and I must brag upon my church for how they handle the huge influx of hundreds of kids in a professional, safe, efficient, loving and personal manner. Each person in the kids worship treated Freddy, Sheena and the kids as if they were special and the only ones there.

We headed back to the sanctuary hearing the worship music already in full stride. I lucked out and spotted my wife and kids up towards the front and they slid over having saved the appropriate number of seats that I had pre-texted ahead.

This is quite a long post and the story continues so I will break it up into two posts.

To be continued.

…..Dan at aslowerpace dot net

This morning during my normal Friday routine at Wayside I observed something I don’t see that often there — a father that is present and engaged. Usually, the women and children eat breakfast on one side of the cafeteria and the men’s recovery group eats on the other. It is very rare to have a married couple at the shelter (where they can sit together on the family side) and even more rare for a father to be present with his wife and children. So when I saw a father with his wife and three kids walk through the line and sit down together, I felt that I needed to chat with him to give him encouragement – 1 because that is rare for a dad to be with his family in a homeless shelter and 2 because it is even more rare in the African-American community.

So when the dad stood up to clear his tray I made my way to him so I could take it from him and encourage him. I greeted him and found out his name was Freddy. There were about 20-25 women and children eating and I asked him to turn around and look at the scene. I asked him what was missing and then pointed out that he was the only father present with his family. I told him he was doing something right and that he was on the right path and to keep going. He then proceeded to introduce me to his wife Sheena, and his three beautiful kids, Anaiah, Koran and Ethan. He thanked me for the encouragement and they walked out.

Fast forward through the rest of serving breakfast and me leaving to go pray at the abortion clinic. However, on my drive there I saw Freddy and his family on the street. I was moved by the Holy Spirit to go around the block and help them beyond the breakfast I served them. I rolled down the window and pulled up to them so they could see who I was. I got out and handed Freddy some money and a Jesus card and asked him if he knew about Jesus. He said yes and I told him I had something for them in my trunk. You see, in addition to my roadside ministry preparations — tools, gloves, gas can, antifreeze, etc — I also have blessing bags that a friend gave to me for distribution. She made these bags to give out to needy folks and they have water, crackers, soap, tissue, fruit snacks, and many other little things that make life on the streets a little easier. I gave a bag to each of them. The kids immediately tore into the fruit snacks and I knew they would go to good use. Freddy told me he was working two jobs to provide for his family but that it was hard because he had been in prison. I then found out that Freddy was Muslim but that Sheena and the kids were Christian. He asked me where I worshiped and when I answered I also offered to take them to Sunday service at 9am. I asked if they could be ready for me to pick them up at the shelter at 8am. They agreed and I told them I would see them there at that time. Then their bus pulled up and I hurried off because I was blocking the bus stop.

WHAT did I just do? When I drove away the reality of what I just did hit me. You see, when the Holy Spirit is working God has a way of getting His way. However, now back in my car the logistics of a Sunday morning with two families hit me. The realization that I had to tell my wife that I would not GO with her to church, but instead meet them at church. It would throw off our Sunday family routine. And what would they look like or what would the kids act like with all those church people watching. And we don’t go to a small, everyone-knows-you, you-can-tell-the-story church.

All these doubts and fears began to take hold. However, I had made a commitment and was going to follow through — in spite of being way outside my comfort zone. I am being called to love on these folks and I know that God will provide as He always does. It is not easy and the fears are constantly there to remind me that this is disruptive, this is not normal, this is uncomfortable, and this is inconvenient.

Stay tuned.

…..Dan at aslowerpace dot net