A Slower Pace

Earlier this week my wife took my 16 year old daughter R to the doctor. She has been having very painful headaches
and it finally got to the point where we needed to look into them. The Dr performed an examination and took some
blood. Some possibilities were ruled out: flu, common cold, allergies, and vision. But just as many were left open ended
which has the whole Aslowerpace family concerned.

She goes in for a CT head scan tomorrow. I am concerned but not worried. I have asked my support network for prayers
and ask the same here on my public record.

One of those support prayer warriors sent me an email reply with scriptural support and it really hit home to me. It was
from Isaiah 41:10.

Fear not, for I am with you;
Be not dismayed, for I am your God.
I will strengthen you,
Yes, I will help you,
I will uphold you with My
righteous right hand.

That reasonated with wonderful reassurance and really helped put me at peace. For my daughter I pray for strength,
comfort, courage and peace.

Interestingly, as I drove down the driveway this morning to head to work, the DJ on the Christian radio I listen to was
ministering to the listeners about worry and the state of our nation. She quoted scripture from….. you guessed it — Isaiah
41:10.

Wow! Pretty cool. Non-believers will say it was just coincidence but, as a believer, I love how God sprinkles lighthouses
along our path and journey to shine the way and provide guidance and reassurance. And when I got to work, I sent a
thank you email to my prayer warrior friend for the lighthouse she provided along my path.

Please keep my daughter in your prayers tomorrow.

Thank you,
…..Dan at aslowerpace dot net

Taking advantage of the later daylight hours, I took the kids shed hunting after dinner this evening. Now most of you are going to be thrown by the term and think that we are out trying to spot little buildings in which you keep garden and yard equipment. While that certainly would be easier to do, what we are actually looking for is our in the woods and treelines. They are the “sheds” or dropped deer antlers that come off the male deer this time of year. It is a perfect opportunity to get the kids involved because you don’t have to dress up in camo, they don’t have to be all that particularly quiet (the sheds aren’t going anywhere), and it gets you outdoors to enjoy nature.

So we all grabbed walking sticks and headed out back. We started on the treeline closest to the house. I instructed the kids on what they were looking for and where some good possible locations are — on either side of fencerows, opposite sides of creeks or streams, and along the wildlife trails especially near trees or low hanging branches. Basically any place where the deer might have some jolt or bump that might knock off their antlers.

About a half hour into our “hunt”, we were along one of the back creeks. The kids were a little bit ahead of me and I was about 3 or 4 feet up along a slanted tree that had fallen during a windstorm but got caught up on another tree leaving the top end suspended and the entire tree at a 45 degree angle. Suddenly, there was a ruckus 20 feet behind us. Quickly emerging from the winter vegetation was a beautiful huge female turkey. The hen took off running away from us and across the neighboring sod farm. I called out to the kids and we all got a really good look at it. She was just beautiful and, for me, it made it a successful outing.

We headed all the way to the pond on the back where I thought we might get lucky. There are several incoming deer trails that lead to the pond and their various bed down locations. We searched intently but did not find anything other than tracks and droppings. We finished the back property as the sun went down. I proceeded to the location where I want to build my environmental, 100% off-the-grid, self sustaining house and watched the first sunset I can remember from that location. The sun eased below the far treeline and we slowly made our way back to the house.

We came home with nothing but memories but had lots of fun on our first shed hunting excursion.

…..Dan at aslowerpace dot net

If you don’t know about Tom’s story, first go read it here.

Now that you have done that you probably also know that 2 weeks ago I joined the family for a visit out to California to see my wife’s family. We also fit in some entertainment (Disneyland, the beach) along with some friends. In addition, we also packed in visits to all of our old favorite eating spots (In N Out Burger, Mission Burrito, Jamba Juice, etc).

On our way to one of these such spots — Baja Fresh and Jamba Juice — I spotted Tom in his center median spot. I did not have time to share a meal with him but was determined to bring him something to eat. I dashed into Baja Fresh and ordered his usual to go and, with the family in tow in our rental mini-van, delivered it to him as we waited for the green left turn arrow. This was not the first time I had curbside delivered food to Tom and he recognized and thanked me as I handed the bag out the window. I also told him that I would be back in town on business in two weeks and would try to stop by then.

Fast forward to my most recent business trip out to Thousand Oaks. I had many meetings and lots of corporate business to tend to. My schedule was quite crazy and I had forgotten about my previous encounter with Tom. Now, before we move on with the story, you must realize that, while you the reader know how this will end up — with me sharing a dinner with Tom — I did not. And it should be clear as the story gets told how I am steered down the path I am supposed to travel. Hindsight will easily conclude this, however, it has a much bigger impact when you are directly in the middle of it and the light bulb goes off.

So my entire week was filled with schedules and meetings and tasks. I really did not have much spare time. However, for some reason, my Wednesday evening was left open. And throughout that day I ran into a person here, a colleague there, who I would try to schedule something that evening with. I would say “I know it is last minute but you want to grab some dinner?”

I asked this a few times throughout the day to completely different people with the same answer — “No, I already have plans.”

So after a 12 hour day, I decided to take it easy and place a “to go” order at the Cheesecake Factory and take it back to my hotel room for a relaxing end of the evening. The first cell phone call to them was disconnected. The next call had me on hold for 5 minutes (I kid you not!). While on hold patiently waiting, it then hits me that I am supposed to hang up, drive over, and see if Tom is there — remembering my previous statement 2 weeks prior. At this point, it is not me — I am merely being used by God.

NOTE: I continue to be amazed at how God can effectively use us if we are in tune to him and open to serving him. See post “Believe. Serve.” Sometimes, all we need to do is get out of our own way.

Upon arriving over at the Target parking lot adjacent to the strip mall entrance that Tom frequents, I see him in his center median spot in the drizzling rain. I shout out to him to see if he wants to join me for dinner. Again, he recognizes me, collects his assortment of items, and heads over my way. We greet each other and he declines my request to put his stuff in my rental car truck and instead heads over to his VW van that not only serves as his transportation but also his home. I did not know he had such a possession and his resourcefulness increased in my eyes. We drove in my rental over to our default dinner spot — Baja Fresh. We make light conversation and comment on the weather. A front row bingo parking spot appeared in front of us and we took advantage of it as we headed into the Mexican eatery.

It was my intent this time to not only treat Tom as a guest (as I did in the previous post) but to also completely interact with him in conversation and support. This was not our first interaction and I wanted to learn more about him and show him that this was a developing relationship rather than just a random act of kindness. He surprised me by ordering a chicken quesadilla rather than the Baja Ensalada with chicken that he ordered the first time we met (and what I ordered him on every subsequent curbside delivery). I then asked him which one he liked better so I could ensure I was getting him something he liked when I drop off food to him in the future. He responded with the chicken quesadilla which prompted me to make a joke making fun of me always bringing him the Baja Ensalda — which he laughed at. I told him that I was glad to have the new information and from now on would “upgrade” the to-go order to the chicken quesadilla.

He laughed again and said he was thankful for that.

We settled in grabbing some pico de gallo that we both liked and then began catching up more after our dinner prayer. It was a very easy and pleasant conversation — much easier than the first time I met him. I asked him questions about what he had been up to; where he had been; how people have been treating him. He said that he recently went down to a local library to take a test by the U.S. Census people. They hire unemployed folks like him. He passed the test and is hoping to pick up some odd time and hours over the next several months performing some of their menial tasks. I found this information encouraging and a different perspective from that the public has of homeless that they don’t pursue opportunities. I complemented him on his initiative and encouraged him on the effort. It was nice to see his enthusiasm despite his circumstances.

Tom also told me of a regular lady who brings him food each week she collects from her church. Her name is Ellie and she is 80 years old. What an example she is setting by providing for some of his needs. I asked Tom to say “hi” to Ellie for me.

As we wound up our meal, I asked Tom what the fuel level of his VW van was. He replied with a half a tank and I asked if he would like to fill it up. He was receptive to that (as opposed to when we first met where he accepted the meal but declined any additional assistance).

So we returned to his van and I followed him over to the nearest gas station where we topped him off with gas. He shook my hand and I told him that, if he would let me, I would continue to “pester” him with food and shared meals. He laughed and thanked me as he got in his van. He disappeared down the street as I got caught at a red light.

I look forward to continued interactions with Tom. Again, I don’t have to have the answer to be a small part of the solution. I challenge each one of you to get involved with people who have needs like this. Don’t just throw resources at a problem. Roll up your sleeves and get to know the people and their issues. While I believe they get a lot from it, we are the ones who truly benefit more.

…..Dan at aslowerpace dot net

We were crazy or should I say going crazy 4 years ago today. That was because it was our first true day in Kentucky. It was a frantic day that had us:

• traveling up from outside of Nashville
• hurrying to Louisville to drop off the dogs with a work friend
• rush to the realtor to sign the closing papers
• get pulled over as we sped to the house
• so we could pay the water people and not have them turn off the water over the weekend
• go to Walmart to stock the fridge and get all those lame little household items you take for granted (paper towel holder, silverware drawer organizer thingy, door mats, trash cans, etc)

Looking back on it, that was a crazy time. And we didn’t know anyone here. I’d be hard pressed to do all that all over again today.

Here is the original post from that time.

We had our church Advent event tonight so we are going out Monday at lunch as a family to celebrate. My wife chose the Cheesecake Factory as our celebratory location. See ya there.

…..Dan at aslowerpace dot net

I took my lovely wife to see this tonight. I thought it was great. Look for a review when I have time.

But don’t wait for my review. Just go see it.

…..Dan at aslowerpace

Like I said in my previous post, life has been happening to the detriment of blog postings. However, I experienced a metaphor today I would like to share.

If you are a regular reader, you know about my mission to be a “disciple of example” and my intent to follow the greatest commandments.

Matthew 22:37-40 — Jesus replied: “‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.’ This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ All the Law and the Prophets hang on these two commandments.”

My job as a disciple is to “go out and be fishers of men”. I should share the good news of Christ dieing for our sins with others that I know and those I don’t know. And while I do that somewhere between occasionally and often, I do not do it enough — especially since it is so important. We’re talking eternal life here. The metaphor today made the point that I — #1) do not do it often enough and miss some people and #2) time is of the essence in some cases. (See a previous post on you may be the only Bible some people read.)

On the way to church today, we had an enjoyable drive through the country. The weather forecast was rain but most of it came through last night and it looked like we had half a chance of a decent day in front of us. We were on time and had no reason to rush (unlike some Sunday mornings). We were meandering through one of the familiar country two lane roads in an area that is more heavily wooded with shade and moisture. As I drove the truck along the tight road, I noticed a bump in the middle of the road — in fact, right on the double yellow stripe. I jogged the truck to the right to make sure I wouldn’t hit whatever it was with the left side tires. As we passed it, I noticed that it was a small box turtle trying to make his was across the road (playing a slow game of “Frogger”). By the time I felt the impulse to pull over to pick him up and usher him to safety, we were farther up the hill and I justified the inaction on my part.

We turned a corner and lo and behold there was another shelled creature in the road, but this one was in a much more hazardous position right in the middle of my lane. I had looked behind me after I passed the other turtle (hoping there was another car behind me to add to my inaction justification) but there wasn’t a vehicle to be seen. So I quickly stopped my wife’s truck, hopped out, picked the little guy up and set him on the side of the road pointed away so he could continue his journey.

I felt good about at least getting that one to safety if at least I couldn’t get them all. Again, more justification.

Fast forward to a really nice service where 10 young confirmands were publicly affirming their baptism and joining the congregation as young adult members. I sponsored one of them (please say a prayer for Collin) and my oldest daughter sponsored another. We are a part of the church’s mentor program for the confirmation students to give them additional resources in their spiritual journey.

I wasn’t thinking about turtles on the way home until I turned that corner and wondered if he had made it across — hopefully not needing my help like the other one did. I was very disappointed and sad to see that half his little shell had been crushed and there was a splattering of blood.

Now while some of you might just say that “it is just a little turtle” or “you can’t save all of the creatures”, I agree with you and you are right (although, go read my “Starfish” post). The metaphor is that a living thing needed my help and I chose not to act. And because time was working against the matter, that living thing did not survive. How often does that happen to things on a bigger scale? To people we see every day? To those who matter around us? On a physical or emotional level? On a spiritual level? All I can say is that I am determined to try harder…..for turtles and people around me.

Forgive me Lord, for passing by opportunities you have given me to share your good news and blessings.

…..Dan at aslowerpace dot net

This morning I decided to grab a light breakfast prior to my departure for the airport. Going against the southern California grain, I walked — not drove — over to the nearby Jamba Juice (another California fix I fit into my travel menu like In ‘N’ Out and Baja Fresh).

On the way there, I said hello to an apparently homeless guy standing outside the Vons grocery store. He sparked up a conversation and I asked him if he wanted to join me for a Jamba Juice. He agreed and grabbed his rolling luggage cart of stuff.

His name is Aaron and he was more verbose than Tom who I met earlier in the week. He proceeded to tell me his current affairs. He has been out this way for 2 months. He came out from New York. He has family along the east coast but is out here to take care of personal affairs and clean up an identify theft issue. He is working to start up an internet business. He was an out of work bookkeeper looking for a break.

Aaron ordered a strawberry nirvana and I followed with my standard strawberries wild with an immunity boost. He continued on with his current affairs and I began to wonder a few things. Were these all real? Was he trying a scam? Did he truly believe all of this or was he trying to convince himself?

Interruption —— hey, while I am posting this and getting ready to leave, they are having Eli Estrada on Fox News live. I posted about him two days ago! And Fox News is just now picking up the story.
End of interruption ——

Aaron was a nice guy and did speak well (even if it was interspersed with slang “and what not”s). However, I got a different feeling throughout our interaction that reminded me of a cross post from a reader’s blog — Nicole from SAHM Ramblings. She posted yesterday an experience she had the other day where a homeless guy stepped away from his panhandling location so he could answer his cell phone. I got a similar feeling from Aaron who, after a time into our conversation, petitioned me if I “knew anyone” who could provide funds for a ticket to travel back east. I analyzed the request and politely sidestepped the answer, a little disappointed that this had now become like your standard panhandling interaction. He insisted he give me his email address and phone number in case I knew someone who could help him get back to the east coast. Next to his name and email address, he put “youth counselor” for some reason. Another weird piece to this nebulous story. Was he trying to convince me of something…..or himself?

We conversed for about 5 minutes while waiting for our Jamba Juices and then wrapped it up as we walked back to his spot in front of Vons. I thanked him for the conversation and he thanked me for the drink and wished me a safe trip back home. As I walked away and rounded the corner, he chased after me and petitioned me for a contribution so he could get his phone card reloaded. This was the final fact I needed to put him into the “opportunist/schemer” homeless group (as opposed to the “truly needy” homeless group). Both are folks that need assistance so they can get on their feet. But each group needs to be handled differently. Again, I don’t have all the answers, but I sure can be a small part of the solution.

On a different note, go check out Nicole’s website SAHM Ramblings. Her family moved from Iowa to Los Angeles and back to the slower pace of Iowa.

…..Dan at aslowerpace dot com

I am out in CA for business…..again. It was supposed to be a quick trip but will now take me all the way through the week. Hopefully that will be it for a while so I am looking forward to getting it behind me and getting back to the Spring that is in Kentucky.

Tonight I figured I would grab some Baja Fresh — it’s kinda like Mexican In ‘N’ Out in that we don’t have them out in Kentucky so I have to get my fix while I’m out here. As I entered the strip mall I noticed a homeless guy sitting out front with a sign asking for help and handouts. I’m ashamed to say that I have seen him here before and never done anything about it. I pulled into the parking lot and felt a tug at my heart. I had a feeling that I must do something, even if it was small. However, I learned a long time ago to not just throw and give money. It means more to provide a meal and human interaction. It is also a lot harder to do. I said a small prayer as I turned around the car to go inquire as to whether he wanted to join me for dinner. I pulled up and he responded doubly surprised — one that someone had stopped to pay him some attention and two that someone was asking him to dinner.

He jumped in the car. I introduced myself and found out his name was Tom. We headed over to Baja Fresh and proceeded to order our grub — Tom a Baja Ensalada with chicken and me a Baja Steak burrito. I made sure he understood he was my guest as I held the door open, grabbed our drinks and plastic cutlery, and served our meal to the table. In my limited experience in these situations, I have learned that it is important to treat folks in this situation with dignity, concern, and consideration. Sometimes that is more important than money. That someone cares and doesn’t look right through them.

We said a meal prayer and proceeded to chat over dinner. He has lived in the area for over 40 years. In fact, he was here before I had moved here back in 1977. We discussed all the changes that have occurred here in Thousand Oaks throughout the years and fondly looked back at some of the old times. The conversation flowed and ebbed with some quiet times between discussions but they weren’t awkward. I’ve had other meals before with folks I have taken out that were much more awkward; luckily this meal and conversation were more enjoyable.

After a while we finished up, cleaned the table and headed out the door. I thanked Tom for the conversation and his time as we headed to the car. I offered him a ride back to his spot which he declined. Even more interesting, he declined my additional request if he needed anything else. We said goodbye and I got in the car with a contradictory feeling — I felt good helping out someone in need however, I really didn’t do that much and I should be doing much more. I should be getting him a heavier jacket for the chilly fog, cloud cover moving in. I should be setting him up with food for tomorrow. I should be taking him to a church or a homeless shelter so he can get on the path to recovery from whatever put him on the street. However, it isn’t always that simple as I have found out in the past. I don’t necessarily have the answer either. All I know is that I don’t have to have the answer to be able to be a small part of the solution.

During our meal, I told Tom that I travel out here often and that I would stop by to see if he was occupying his spot and if he was, we could have dinner together. He thought that was a good idea and we called it a future dinner reservation. We’ll see how that unfolds. All I know is that I am ashamed — #1 because I had seen Tom at that spot before and done nothing. And #2 that I haven’t done anything like this since last June when I met Mike.

Please say a prayer for Tom and Mike.

…..Dan at aslowerpace dot net

Our lives are quite hectic this last week and into the foreseeable future. Last weekend we had a super busy weekend with a birthday, a church council meeting, the Cub Scouts Pinewood Derby, evening cake and ice cream, and basement work. This weekend has been no different with my older daughter going to a play last night, some basement furniture shopping and dinner by the rest of us, an all day tae kwon do tournament for my son, and a church confirmation mentor sponsorship by me and my oldest daughter this evening. And on top of that I fly out of here early tomorrow morning to go back to corporate for some systems training and meetings. So blog posting has taken an obvious back seat — and will probably continue to do so.

One post that I did not write was from last week’s Cub Scout Pinewood Derby. Even though I was in scouts from a wee lad to high school, I never participated in one of these events. Not only was this my son’s first PW Derby, it was also mine. I had also heard that some people participating can be quite hard core competition-wise. So we approached the building of his car with casual craftsmanship. In addition, I had taken my scale over to the pre-race setup so we couldn’t even build the car to the specifications of 5 ounzes. We did pay pretty good attention to paint though. My son thought up the paint scheme and I laid out the tape so his painting lines would be perfect. He spent Saturday morning (the PW derby was at 5pm) laying on coats of paint interchanging with my wife’s hair dryer to speed up the whole process. By the time we had to leave for my noon church council meeting we had a pretty cool looking ride.

So fast forward through church administration business and you have us speeding to the scout event. We went down to “the pits” to weigh our creation and make any tweaks. It turns out our weight was WAY off — only 3.25 ounzes. A scout leader took us under his wing (thanks Doug!) and gave us a few pointers to adding weights and positioning them for maximum effect. We added them to the side to make them look like side exhaust pipes — pretty cool if you ask me! From there we took the car up and checked in with a few minutes to spare.

The heats and races became an all evening event and my son’s car would come down the track incline in 1st or 2nd but the lead would taper off as the other cars’ momentum put him in average 3rd and 4th places. It was cool to see all the other cars — the creativity in looks and themes and the creativity in competitiveness for speed.

The scouts did a good job of having lots of trophies for all the different categories and dens. And for those who didn’t get a trophy, they received a ribbon. I thought that was pretty decent and in the spirit of the scouts. However, my son was a little upset as we left and go in the car. He was crying that he didn’t get a trophy. I consoled him but also wanted this to be a good learning lesson for him. You see, he (we) didn’t put much effort into the car — surely not enough to compete on the level that others were there for. It was a fun event but I explained that not everyone could get a trophy. The reasons trophies are cool is because they stand for something special. If they gave everyone a trophy, they wouldn’t be as special. I told him that if he wanted a trophy that bad, that he had to work harder to earn it — either by being more creative and making an extra special cool car or by researching ways to make a car faster down the track. Those options on the road to trophy-dom require effort, commitment, discipline and hard work. It really depended on how bad he wanted a trophy.

This little speech did little to sooth his hurt feelings but, again, this is a really good lesson to learn early in life. Trophies and everything else in life that is special just aren’t handed to you. You have to work hard and earn them. So I used last week’s lesson as a motivator for his tae kwon do tournament.

Right now my son is more passionate about tae kwon do than scouting (which makes sense because he’s been doing it a year longer). While I think he could have spent more time this week practicing, he did spend time going through his practice breaks, speaking the descriptive part to the judges, and working on his moves. During the tournament, he disregarded our suggestions prior to his breaks (bow before the judges, speak loudly and clearly). While I think he did pretty good, he could have done better with more practice and open ears. He did not place for the break competition. So when the sparring competition came up, I reminded him of his lack of listening to our suggestions. This time I told him that when he sparred he needed to concentrate on blocking and attacking (and NOT to run away or back up as he has done in class). He apparently listened to this because he won his first match. His second match was with a larger kid who had a kick move…..but that was it. My son got to where he could block it and did get a point or two but never took control of the match once he neutralized the other opponent’s threat. He finally got tired and missed a few blocks on the opponent’s kick and they landed scoring points. He lost the match but I was proud of him for his effort. He ended up getting second place for his kids division and received a medal for his efforts. I congratulated and hugged him letting him know how proud I was of him. However, I also took the opportunity later on in the afternoon to equate the results with the efforts he put forth in comparison with the Pinewood Derby. I also told him that he probably could have won the second match if he had practiced more as I had suggested during the week. All in all he was happy with his silver medal. And I am glad that we can learn the lesson of losing and winning from different perspectives. It is an important life lesson.

…..Dan at aslowerpace dot net

This was what I saw on the way home from work yesterday. It is the first time I have turned a vehicle over to 200,000 miles. I took a picture of it with my cell phone but somehow lost it in the transfer. So below is a current snapshot. I think it’s pretty cool.

…..Dan at aslowerpace dot net