A Slower Pace

Well, my special day is done and past. Thanksgiving is a day where I not only give thanks, but my wife slaves for me making my favorite meal. The smells of the meal wake me up, I get to hang and play with the kids, maybe take a nap, watch some football and pig out eating. Basically I am king for the day.

However, the next day the tables turn. While Thanksgiving is my favorite holiday, the whole Christmas season is my wife’s favorite. And a tradition has developed in our family where the day after Thanksgiving all of our Christmas decorations go up. Actually it’s more like a Christmas bomb went off leaving decoration shrapnel EVERYWHERE! And yours truly is the slave to the wife. I hauled something like 20 or 30 boxes — and those were just from the attic. I didn’t count the ones in the basement. Anyway, I was my wife’s Christmas bitch today. And there was so much stuff (and I snuck in a couple of games of MechAssault on the basement Xbox) that the outside lights and stuff get pushed to tomorrow when it’ll be warmer — a high of 50!!! Woohoo!

…..Dan at aslowerpace dot com

With DVRs (digital video recorders) in the house, I rarely watch live TV. About the only thing I’ll watch live is sporting events like football and NASCAR. And when I watch those I will make a point to view them in HDTV. If they aren’t in HiDef, I’ll route them through the ReplayTV so I can buffer them allowing me to refill my Dr Pepper, play with (or discipline) the kids and hit the bathroom without missing anything.

So tonight I sat down to watch a recorded show and stumbled upon the Kenny Chesney concert on ABC. It was in HD so I called the kids down, grabbed some leftover chips and salsa I had made for the last NASCAR race last Sunday, and plopped us all down for some good ol’ country music entertainment. My wife even strolled down to complete the group. It was very nice to just sit back, watch the concert and enjoy the music without having to plop some serious coin for tickets, or to have to fight the screaming crowds. And Kenny Chesney not only has some great music, lyrics and storytelling, but he is a great entertainer to boot (pun not intended). I thoroughly enjoyed the time with my family watching that concert. I’d like to take the next step and take ’em for real but I think we’ve hit on a great formula watching it at home. With high definition TV and a great sound system, it’s tough to beat it in real life. I’m saying that because unless you get some close to front row tix, you can’t get a better view than the pre-positioned cameras with multiple angles and zoom capabilities.

Now I know what some of you are thinking. You’re probably old school folks who like the ambience of a venue, the resonance of the live music and the intimacy of 62,000 of your closest drunk friends. You are also the same folks who argue for the “warmness” of vinyl records. While I still have all my old “albums”, they sure don’t play well on an iPod nor are they very transportable nor do they zip over my home music network with lossless quality. Some things are just plain flat out better. Either that or I’m just getting old with the kids sitting in front of the TV watching Kenny Chesney beautifully perform “Who You’d Be Today” and then explaining the song’s meaning to the kids. Whatever it is, I’ll take a night like tonight with the family any time.

…..Dan at aslowerpace dot com

We were all ready for our family movie/game night on Friday. I picked up the new Madagascar DVD that was released on Tuesday and was on sale at WalMart. However, it wasn’t in the cards. My son and middle daughter got into it through the day and weren’t deserving of our special treat so family movie night was delayed as a disciplinary tool. If they were good enough Saturday, we’d all sit down for a Saturday version of family movie/game night. Luckily they were, and we did.

I also took my son out this morning hunting…..minus the rifle. With him only being five, I want him to first learn about animal patterns, learning the land, moving around quietly and generally understanding his surroundings. We have lots of time to teach him how to shoot separately. Then once he understands all of that, we can put them all together. I expect it to be when he is 7 or 8. I am working on exposing my girls to the same but they are showing less interest. It was very nice to be out for a few quiet nature hours with my son.

…..Dan at aslowerpace dot net

Today sped by like a blur. Luckily, because of the time change we were able to sleep in a little and enjoy a leisurely breakfast. After that, it was Sunday school and church. My middle daughter sang with all the other little boys and girls which was a nice treat. And the sermon was very thought provoking — career vs. calling. I liked it and it paralleled some thought changes I’ve had in the last year or two where I am a disciple, husband, father and friend foremost and an employee second.

—— WARNING —— TANGENT BELOW ——

I now joke to people that my work is “only what I do on the side”. But it’s not always easy. It can be hard releasing those corporate or career ambitions especially when you see others passing by and enjoying the trappings….er, spoils of their success. I can still sometimes be torn by my plan to provide for, nurture and be involved in my family versus the pursuit of “being all that you can be” and making the most of your life. It’s not often in society that we heroize and glamorize the successes of being a great father and/or parent. We idolize and praise successful businessmen, athletes, politicians, etc however we fail at that when it comes to parenting. Maybe it’s because there are so few really good businessmen, athletes and politicians. Almost everyone is a parent — there are lots of those to go around. Maybe it’s because success defined in parenting is so nebulous; so undefined; so long-term. It is a lot easier to identify who makes the most money, scores the most points or wields the most political power. Maybe it’s because I’m reading the wrong publications. Business mags, tech pubs, and the local paper are not going to gush praises on exceptional parenting skills. Whatever it is, I sometimes wonder if I’m missing something. But then something always happens that yanks me right back to my reality that I’m doing the right thing for this family. A sunset highlighting the fall palette of colors. The kids discovering something new on the property. A view of wildlife out the back windows. I don’t care what people say but you can’t have it all. And I am cashing out my career and corporate successes for the dividends my family will pay back in the years to come.

—— TANGENT END ——

We returned home late from church only to have to get ready for the “Trunk or Treat” back at church later in the afternoon. There was a confirmation during the late service so our normal leisurely afternoon only gave us an hour or two before we had to head back. We rummaged in the basement for some old costumes. My wife got all the decorations for the “trunk” (actually the back of her Tahoe) assembled and loaded. I was able to do a few quick chores around the house before we turned around and headed back to church. Once there, my wife exploded her Halloween decorations throughout the Tahoe while I marveled with the kids at the numerous hot air balloons in the distance. We ended up counting a total of eight. Soon enough more cars showed up filled with costumed people and lots of interesting characters. My favorite were two sisters who were 1) peanut butter and 2) jelly each with a piece of bread on their back. Very creative. Not your typical Wal-Mart costume. A combination of candy securing, hayride, pumpkin painting, story telling, apple bobbing and snack eating took us to what seemed like 9pm. It was a fun time had by all. We loaded the hyper, candy eating, nap lacking, costumed kids into the truck and were floored when the clock read 6:30pm. It seemed like we were there for a long time and coupled with the time change, felt like it was late at night.

We got home in time to catch the end of the Denver-Philly game and then sedated, er….calmed the kids from their sugar highs into bed. Normally our Sundays are quite routine and peaceful, but today we always had something going on.

…..Dan at aslowerpace dot net

Not much to mention other than it was a typical God, family, football/NASCAR Sunday. Church to kick it off, making salsa with the kids, watching NASCAR with my wife and son (kind of), watching football with my wife topped by a great family dinner. Even the NASCAR finish was interesting — my car won, followed by my wife’s driver, my son’s driver and grandpa’s driver (Jeff Gordon, Tony Stewart, Jimmie Johhson and Bobby Labonte). Too bad my Dallas Cowgirls don’t know how to finish off a game. It wasn’t just this week’s game that they couldn’t finish well — they just dodged the loss in the two weeks prior.

It was funny during the NASCAR race. My wife rubbed it in that her driver was leading (and during most of the race I might add). My son responded by saying that when he played with his NASCAR Hot Wheels that her car wouldn’t win — only his and Daddy’s. That made me laugh.

Something different ———

I haven’t done this on the blog before but this is kinda important and needs your attention. I have a prayer request. My neighbor was hospitalized the week prior with meningitis. He came home last week and everything appeared to be normalizing but yesterday he went back into the hospital with a few blod clots and an infection. Please keep him in your prayers for a full recovery and a return to his wife and two boys.

…..Dan at aslowerpace

This afternoon I dug through tears to bury my beloved black lab dog. Wednesday while in the house, a visiting child stepped on him and he reacted by biting the child in the face. It wasn’t the dog’s fault. It wasn’t the child’s fault. It just was. It completely sucks. So many emotions going through me right now. It was all I could do to dig up the courage to do the right thing and put the dog down. I cannot risk a large dog like that around mine or anyone else’s children. While I love him very much and have run out of tears crying for him, I would ache a million times more if anything happened to mine or another child. In an ideal world I would have been able to find him a home on a farm with an older couple that knows exactly where he is coming from. He is getting older now and has less patience with children than he used to. A farm setting with some older folks to just sit on the porch and pet him while they all grow old together would be ideal. However, we do not live in an ideal world. And I cannot rewind time to prevent this whole accidental situation. There are no winners in this case. There is no silver lining. No brighter side, no better offs, no it’s gonna be ok. It just completely sucks to the bottom of my aching heart. I didn’t make it easier on myself by insisting to dig his grave. And to be there holding his paw when the vet came. However, that is what I would have wanted him to do if I had to be put down and he was the one making the tortuous decision.

That being said, shame on me. I know someone who just lost their mother and now found out they are fighting a deadly disease. There are soldiers dieing for our country. There are many who have ached and pained and cried and lost more than I have. But that doesn’t make me or anyone else feel better.

I love you my friend. I miss you. I’ll visit you often under the willow.

…..Dan at aslowerpace dot net

If you read yesterday’s post, you know that my son and I had a mission to WalMart. The reason for that mission was to get a new litter box and kitten food. See, my wife made a promise as we were moving out here that my middle daughter never forgot — to get her a kitten. A few weeks ago when we were up at that farm in Indiana the topic seriously came up. well, our neighbors just got two free ones from some friends and there was still one left over so this was a good opportunity.

The kitten — we can’t tell if it is a girl or boy — is a beautiful striped grey color. It is settling in nicely and knows where the litter box is. The other cat, which ruled as queen, is still hissing at it so that will take a while for them to warm up to each other. But not as long as it will take the dogs to get used to another cat. All in all, my middle daughter has been beaming and excited to have her new kitten.

I have church tomorrow, so it’s off to bed for me. My son has invaded our bed and is still wearing his swim trunks. While it was hot today — 92F — it really cooled off nicely this afternoon and made for a perfect evening. It’s my favorite time of day during the summer when the sun dips below the trees but there is still lots of light. And it is the perfect temperature where you can’t tell whether it is hot or cold. That means it’s perfect. Although we are looking forward to hurricane Dennis bringing us some rain. The ground is parched and cracking and we need it badly.

…..Dan at aslowerpace dot net

Yesterday’s sign was not only a country throwback reminder to the days of the smalltown shop that would close during part of the day and go fishing — it was an accurate description of my whereabouts.

We hit the nearby Kentucky Game Park with another family for some fishing, a picnic and whatever else the kids wanted to do there. We only planned a few hours, leaving at 10:30a and expecting to leave around 1p or 2p. We didn’t leave there until 5p. Needless to say, we all were having fun.

I spent some serious time teaching all three of my kids to fish. My son has a NASCAR Dale Earnhardt Jr. pole (mommy’s car) that got him going but his attention span waned as someone discovered a cache of crawdads at the other lake. My middle daughter expanded on her fishing skills. She has become quite the caster with her little Barbie fishing pole (reviewed here by Field and Stream — http://www.fieldandstream.com/fieldstream/fishing/article/0,13199,1060455,00.html –) and completely outfished her old man with a more serious rod and reel. Maybe I should have gotten that NASCAR #24 Jeff Gordon rod my son passed over.

We all bounced back and forth between fishing, relaxing, eating our picnic lunch, more fishing, exploring, more relaxing and again more fishing. The day was a perfect 81F degrees with little humidity and there was lots of shade around. It was a nice change from the hot and humid of late and we took full advantage of it.

Tired and spent from a hard day of fishing and relaxing, we headed home and 2 out of 3 of mine knocked out for the ride home. Upon arriving home we had to get ready for our neighbor’s annual 4th of July Saturday bash. These were neighbors that joined us last week for my son’s party. There were well over 100 people there. They are both from large families (he is one of 5 and she is one of 10), he owns a landscaping business and she is a local teacher. This allowed us to expand our social network and meet some more really nice folk.

At the end of the evening after it had fallen dark (around 9:45p here in Kentucky), they lit off a great 15 minute firework show. While quite a few fireworks are legal here in Kentucky — they even sell them at WalMart — anything that is air launched or explodes is illegal. However both our north and south neighbors of Indiana and Tennessee sell whatever you want. That is where my neighbor got his collection a week or so ago and proceeded to entertain us all with some great mortar launched shells. Multi-coloreds, patterns, explosions and reports. It made for a wonderful time and the kids loved it. We had a front row seat with no traffic to fight on the way home. This will be something to look forward to each year.

After we got home just before 11p, we put the kids to bed and I turned on the TV in hopes of catching the last few laps of the NASCAR race. Somebody was smiling upon me because there was a rain delay and they were on lap 11 with 2 laps left before the restart. Woohoo! I didn’t miss much. I grabbed some chips n’ salsa along with some iced tea and lemonade and made myself comfortable. My son wandered down and because he had napped on the way home from fishing, he would be up for a while. So I sat him in my lap and we did some father/son bonding.

What a great, eventful, satisfying, relaxing day!

…..Dan at aslowerpace dot net

During homeschooling, my wife worked on some stuff with the kids in relation to Father’s Day. I received some nice cards in addition to the research the kids did on the history of Father’s Day. See below. Also, my wife did a Q & A session with the kids each alone so they wouldn’t influence each other. Their answers are pretty funny.

The Story of Father’s Day

Father’s Day, contrary to popular misconception, was not established as a holiday in order to help greeting card manufacturers sell more cards. In fact when a “father’s day” was first proposed there were no Father’s Day cards.

Mrs. John B. Dodd, of Washington, first proposed the idea of a “father’s day” in 1909. Mrs. Dodd wanted a special day to honor her father, William Smart. William Smart, a Civil War veteran, was widowed when his wife (Mrs. Dodd’s mother) died in childbirth with their sixth child. Mr. Smart was left to raise the newborn and his other five children by himself on a rural farm in eastern Washington state. It was after Mrs. Dodd became an adult that she realized the strength and selflessness her father had shown in raising his children as a single parent.

The first Father’s Day was observed on June 19, 1910 in Spokane, Washington. At about the same time in various towns and cities across America other people were beginning to celebrate a “father’s day”. In 1924 President Calvin Coolidge supported the idea of a national Father’s Day. Finally in 1966 President Lyndon Johnson signed a presidential proclamation declaring the 3rd Sunday of June as Father’s Day.

Father’s Day has become a day to not only honor your father, but all men who act as a father figure. Stepfathers, uncles, grandfathers and adult male friends are all honored on Father’s Day.

Q & A

Daddy weighs:
Oldest – 150 lbs
Middle – 100 lbs
Youngest – 90 lbs

How tall is Dad:
Oldest – 6 ft 10 inches
Middle – 10 feet
Youngest – taller than the barbeque

My Dad is how old:
Oldest – 21
Middle – 23
Youngest – 50

My Dad does this for a living:
Oldest – works for Amgen
Middle – he just gets up in the morning and goes to work but not on the weekend
Youngest – working

Daddy’s favorite drink is:
Oldest – Dr Pepper in California and sweet tea in Kentucky
Middle – lemonade mixed with iced tea or Dr Pepper
Youngest – wine

Daddy’s favorite food is:
Oldest – strawberry shortcake because he makes it into a mountain
Middle – meat
Youngest – sandwiches because that’s all he eats

Daddy’s favorite color is:
Oldest – red
Middle – red
Youngest – red

My favorite thing to do with Dad is:
Oldest – play with him
Middle – play games and have him to myself
Youngest – work with him

I think Dad’s favorite day of the week is:
Oldest – Sunday because we go to church and then we play music all day and he works in the garage
Middle – the weekend because he doesn’t go to work
Youngest – Sunday because we go to church

Daddy is mad when:
Oldest – we don’t listen
Middle – because we fight
Youngest – kids are fighting

Daddy is happy when:
Oldest – when my brother dances
Middle – when we are nice to each other
Youngest – when we are not fighting

My Dad is the greatest dad because:
Oldest – he plays with me and he’s funny
Middle – just because he is
Youngest – because he does all sorts of fun stuff and he works for us

…..Dan at aslowerpace dot net

When I was a boy and as I grew up in my formative work ethic years of 10-16 years of age, one of the chores I had to do the most was mowing the lawn. It started with our own lawn. My dad one day just showed me how to use the electric mower, edge, trim and not run over the cord. Clippings would go over here and the mower would get put away over there and so on. It became my weekly chore and I earned something on the order of $2. I think towards the end of my lawn career at 17 years old I was making $5.

I also learned that other people would pay more than my dad. At the height of my lawnmowing career my kingdom peaked at 7 lawns — not including ours. At $7 per lawn when you are 13 years old that’s quite a business to run and pretty damn cool. It buys lots of baseball cards, anodized bike parts and candy. Too bad I was just a normal kid and bought that kind of crap instead of investing in little heard of companies like Apple Computer, Microsoft and Amgen. I was destined to continue working.

Now fast forward to today. As you all know, my back is still recuperating. As you all also know, my folks are in town staying with us. And as you all know (from here), in April I picked up a pretty cool zero turn mower. Combine all those and you get a kid’s ultimate revenge — your dad mowing your lawn!

I got such a kick out of watching Dad zip down the driveway, along the treeline, up the neighbor’s easement, around the back creek and up again. He picked up really quick and was soon haulin’ a$$. I turned to my wife and said “Look how fast he’s goin’. He’s bookin’!”. She replied by saying “That’s how you look”. I guess the apple doesn’t fall far from the tree. He ended up enjoying mowing the lawn as much as I do. Which is easy to do if you have the right mower.

After my dad was finished and pulled the mower onto the driveway and got off, I pulled out my wallet and gave him 5 bucks. It was the best 5 bucks I’ve ever spent. 🙂

And it turns out he needed it. When careening in the front yard where it’s really bumpy, it seems that he didn’t have his cellphone on his hip anymore. We had lots of ground to cover to try and find it. We tried to call it, hoping the ring would lead us to it. But that didn’t work. Luckily, it didn’t take long for us to find the shredded leather case. And then the flip part ear piece. And then I saw the LCD display reflecting the afternoon sun. Oh, and here’s a circuit board here. Hey, the main part of the phone with the keypad is still intact. And the battery light is on. We were busting up laughing so hard. I tried to call it hoping it would grumble out a pathetic ring which would’ve put me on the ground in laughter. But it just sat there.

Piece by piece we found the phone in between laughing fits. My dad pretty much mulched his cellphone in his careening down the yard on the mower. We’ll be headed to the Verizon store tomorrow with the ziploc bag full of remaining parts.

I wonder if anyone has ever mowed their phone.

…..Dan at aslowerpace dot net