A Slower Pace

While the UPS tour I took earlier this week was incredible, informative and an all around good time, the most important thing I took away from the evening didn’t have anything to do about packages. In fact, it didn’t have anything to do with business at all.

Some of the people who joined us for the tour and dinner were from different sites from my company. It was a pleasure to meet them, talk about business, get to know each other’s processes and share best practices. At dinner, talk turned to family and other non-work related topics. I fielded a few questions on my family’s move out from southern California to Kentucky. My standard cookie cutter answers like a slower pace, more time with the family, back to basics, cheaper cost of living — things you have probably already read about and are familiar with throughout the history of this blog. I also shared my recent mantra “My company can get another me in a heartbeat, but my kids can’t get another dad”. That was when a fellow co-worker from one of the other sites shared a gift with me that I will never forget. It was in the form of a story.

My fellow co-worker began with,

“During one holiday period when I worked for a company that manufactured syringes and barrels, I was called in on Christmas Eve day around 11am because a piece of equipment had failed. I did not want to burden my staff with having to come in with it being Christmas Eve and all, so I tackled the problem myself.

As work goes, I didn’t get home until 11pm that night missing Christmas Eve. We did get to spend Christmas Day together but two days later she was killed in a car crash.”

My heart dropped to the floor as he continued on. He stated my mantra of “your kids can’t get another dad”, but added a corollary of “you can’t get another child“.

Qualifier: this is an interpretation of the story as told to me directly. Some of the details may not be exact but will not detract from the awesome message it conveys. He also gave me permission to share his amazing story. I thank him for his courage and strength to share his story and loss so others may gain.

…..Dan at aslowerpace dot net

This is a bad season for me. You see, a few weeks ago we got a yearly visitor who has no mercy, no remorse and no limits. They don’t know the power their wares have over us. Well, this weekend, we paid the price. And we will continue paying the price for a little while now. I don’t know if it’s worth it but I am helpless and powerless to resist. That price is $38.50 for 11 Girl Scout cookie boxes that are now terrorizing our fairly moderate diets. I have been pretty good. Since September when I made some important but not drastic changes to my diet, I have lost about 25 pounds. In making these changes, I was more concerned about the health of my body rather than my weight loss. The weight loss was more of a nice side benefit. What I was targeting was a greater overall health for my body.

However, cake and cookies are my weaknesses. I have done a pretty good job by moderating my intake of those weak points. However, this is my first Girl Scout cookie season and I failed. Luckily, they will be gone soon enough and I can resume my moderate diet and decent health habits.

On another note, this evening my oldest daughter was watching TV in the family room. I came down the stairs and asked her to pause the ReplayTV. She obeyed and offered me the remote, thinking that I wanted to program something for a minute and then give the remote back to her. Instead, I kissed her on the forehead and told her I loved her. She looked at me weird for a second and then giggled.

She said “I thought you were going to do something important”.

I replied, “I did. I told you I loved you”.

I love catching my kids off guard like that. They really remember those moments.

…..Dan at aslowerpace dot net

I sit here late at night posting for two reasons. One – the medication I am taking for my sinus infection has me up. Two – even after a tough day, I have so many reasons to be thankful.

At work today, there were many tough decisions that had to be made — more so than usual. These were the kind that weigh upon you and take that bit of extra energy and analysis. And to make sure I was thinking on my feet, the day threw in a couple of curveballs too related to property stuff we still need to get resolved back in California. The constant barrage of challenges with the need to “be on and be right” all day sure had an impact. It wasn’t a bad day like those we sometimes have, but it was just a tough day that makes you earn every copper penny of your day’s pay. I was very glad THAT part of the day was over when I got in my truck and headed my familiar daily pilgrimage home on the two lane country roads. But the day still had one or two left for me — slow poke country drivers that is — to test me. And while I was keeping my right foot light, resisting the urge to pass at the next available broken yellow, a country song I had never heard came on regarding our kids and truly enjoying the beings that they are. Below are the lyrics and it really set me straight.

It really set me back to the proper frame of mind I needed to be in. And as I arrived home, I received my most favorite present once again — my kids, along with the dogs, running alongside my truck as I drove up the gravel drive, smiling, waving and yelling excitement as if I was the ice cream man on a hot July day giving out free treats. I exited my truck to little grabbing hands wanting hugs and wagging tails, walked over to my wife who was bundled for the 38F degree sunny day, gave her a big hug and told her I was the luckiest man alive.

I don’t deserve this and I expect to have to work twice as hard tomorrow…..which I’ll gladly do.

Just remember, your kids don’t care how big your office is, how much money you make, how many meetings you went to, where you are on the corporate totem pole, whether you swept the floors, built the floors, or paid for the floors. They just love you for you and the time you spend with them.

Artist: Billy Dean
Song: Let Them Be Little

Lyrics:

Let them be little

…..Dan at aslowerpace dot net

PS – the “let them sleep in the middle” part is beautifully applicable to us. My son woke me up as he did his nightly transfer from his bed to ours.

Today I am off of work enjoying the time with the family. I just awoke from a quick 20 minute nap on the couch in the family room. I was reading a new book and my wife curled up next to me. It was a nice Hallmark moment — the mist outside, the smoker outside cooking tonight’s chicken, Tchaikovsky piano music in the kitchen, my wife sleeping next to me and a good book. I laid the book down and took it all in realizing that true enjoyment moments like this just happen — they aren’t planned or scheduled. What you have to do and what I am slowly realizing is that you need to position your life so that there are more opportunities for them to occur. That, coupled with opening your eyes so that you can identify the moments when they happen, will lead to true enjoyment moments. The book I started (no book report yet since I have only finished the “Foreword” and am in Chapter 1) talks about “permanent things — values, family, relationships, communicating”. These are what I have been focusing on and intend to keep focusing on as we continue on this journey of leading a slower paced life.

…..Dan at aslowerpace dot net

Today was a little bit of a challenge because two of the kids were kinda sick. Not enough to really stay at home in bed but enough to be wary of the kind of bad day we could have since they weren’t feeling 100%. And rain was the order of the day. So late church was in order but I had to take my oldest to Sunday school. She is prepping for communion and can’t miss a class. So wave 1 of the family went early for the 9:30a Sunday school with the rest of the family reinforcing the group for 10:45a church.

That all seemed to go well given how two of the kids felt so we grabbed some lunch at the local Sonic and headed over to where the church bowling event was happening. Now, none of my kids had ever been bowling before. There were about 8 families from the church so we got to meet a few more people. And, man, was it fun. It was so funny to see the kids struggle with the 8 pound ball, manuever it into position, coax it down the lane with their body language and explode with happiness when they knocked over more than one pin. There was even one series where my little boy got a spare, both my girls got strikes, my wife got a spare and I knocked down…..seven. It was pretty funny and we all had a great time. We will definitely have to do that again as a family. NOTE: bumpers are the best thing in bowling since they drilled those three holes in the ball for your fingers.

After church and bowling, I had to race home so I could catch the rest of the NASCAR Daytona 500 (get it?…..”race” home…..hahahaha — I know, that was pretty bad.) I’m a pretty big NASCAR Cup fan and, while I don’t particularly like the Daytona 500, it was a race that had many firsts for me. It was the first race of the season, it was my first NASCAR race here in Kentucky and it was my first race I got to watch in HDTV. And all I can say is “WOW!!!!!”. I got the attic antenna dialed in and tuned it on the 42″ Sony wide screen at around lap 60 (of 200). I was in heaven and my wife just couldn’t see what all the fuss was about. The cars and picture looked spectacular with all the detail. Now I just have to get the cable run so I can remove the “temporary” cable running across the hallway from the attic down the stairs to the TV. If you haven’t seen an HDTV picture yet, especially a sporting event, do yourself a favor and check it out. It is the new wave of TV. Oh, and by the way, my driver won the race so I was thrilled! What a great start for the season. I can’t wait until next week’s race at Fontana, California. This was a race I had been going to since it’s inaugural race in 1997 with my dad and brother-in-law. It was a great tradition but me moving to Kentucky and my bro-in-law moving to Washington state kinda made it difficult to continue it. To all my friends attending next weekend, I will miss you, the BBQ, the comraderie and the fun. Enjoy it for me — I’ll be watching you on TV.

…..Dan at aslowerpace dot net

A Valentines Day gift…..

Last night, Thursday, was a special night for me. I had a date with my daughter. She received a special award for completing all her reading for the month of January. Part of that award was a coupon for a free personal pan pizza at Pizza Hut — her favorite pizza place. After that, her 1st grade class was having a craft event where dad’s can go with their kids to make a V-day gift for Mom.

So Pizza Hut it was and then on to the school. We painted a small terra cotta flower pot with her classmate and her dad. Turns out they live 2 miles from us. Play dates will need to be set up. I was also able to meet another of my neighbors who owns the 90 acres across the street from us. All in all it was a nice evening and it helped contribute to the feeling that we are slowly adjusting, meeting people, building our network and making this town, place and community home.

…..Dan at aslowerpace dot net

Tonight was family game night and family movie night. Uno was the game of choice with the females dominating over the males. My son became disinterested after the first game and I only won the last. All the others were swept by the ladies.

After that, it was a DVD with my son since he didn’t get into the Uno games. After that we sat as a family and watched family pictures on the ReplayTV. I was a little melancholy but also realised that while we were watching old family memories, we were making new ones right then and there.

When I took the dogs out one last time to do their business before going to bed, I looked up at the gobs and gobs of stars available to me. I look forward to the warm summer evenings where I can take a quilt out there and set up the telescope to show the kids the vastness of God’s creation.

Here’s to the weekend and hoping you enjoy it as much as we do.

…..Dan at aslowerpace

This morning started out a little rocky. My middle daughter woke up hesitant to go to school.  She isn’t normally the one that doesn’t want to go to school so we were wondering what was up. After a little crying and some questions, it turns out that she was worried about her loose tooth. She didn’t want it to come out at school and bleed. She also was worried that it would hurt and mommy or daddy wouldn’t be around.

After some hugging and consoling, I was finally able to get her to let me look at it. After even more consoling and convincing, I was able to get her to agree to let me pull it out. But it was a stubborn little front tooth. Her small tooth combined with Daddy’s fat fingers didn’t allow for a good enough grip to pull it out. So we took a break for breakfast hoping maybe some chewing action would extract it. That wasn’t the ticket so we took another break for me to take a shower. Well, she mustered enough courage to yank the thing out herself. She proudly ran up the stairs to show me, holding it like a trophy.

She then continued on her way to getting ready for school with a smile…..less one tooth. And a beautiful smile it is!

I am very proud of her.

…..Dan at aslowerpace

In reference to my previous post yesterday, one of the things that I thought would help me (and all of us) adjust quicker is to create family memories here in our new home. A while ago back in California, our family started a tradition called “Family Game Night” which was every Friday. We morphed that a little last night into “Family Movie Night”. It was a special night where we ordered pizza, made cupcakes, decorated them with all sorts of cool sprinkles and sugary based substances, dished out ice cream with gooey toppings, and popped in the “Cat In The Hat” DVD on the big screen. It made for a very nice evening as a family and began a new tradition in our house.

This afternoon, my son and I took a stroll out to the front pasture and creek. He rode his bike on the street, threw sticks into the creek and I pushed him as he swung from the rope swing. It was quite chilly outside (39F) but we were dressed for it and enjoyed our time out in the cold sun. Soon enough we had been out there an hour and a half and returned a little bit muddy, not realising the attached muck in all the fun. Again, another Kentucky memory burned into the brain to help in our adjustment.

Late church tomorrow and we are 3 for 3 in 2005!

…..Dan at aslowerpace