A Slower Pace

Below is a Wordle that I created to reflect the thanks during this special day of Thanksgiving. Praise God for my overflowing cup.

Happy Thanksgiving to you and yours,
…..Dan at aslowerpace dot net

15 years ago my wife and I quietly slipped away for the weekend and were joined in the legal union of marriage. We would celebrate with family and friends 6 months later so I have the envious position of, as a guy, having to remember two anniversaries — not just one.

“He who finds a wife finds what is good and receives favor from the LORD.” – Proverbs 18:22

As my wife and I have grown together, joining our journeys together for God and family, I recognize a perspective that can only be seen by looking back and comparing the developing product of our marriage with where it started. And it contains two elements that are critical for a quality marriage — time and hard work. I would compare it to items that are highly sought after for their acquired properties. Items like a fine aged wine; a perfectly shaped mature bonzai tree; a top shelf bourbon. God also has some of these items — but they are much larger. A beautiful, full grown, majestic oak tree; the chiseled valley of Yosemite; the eroded sandstone of the Grand Canyon; the developing islands of Hawaii. All have taken time and hard work to create beauty and value.

“For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh.” – Ephesians 5:31 and Genesis 2:24 (it’s important enough that God put it in the Bible twice)

Marriage is no different. And in these days of some marriages crumbling faster than a sports season (e.g. – the 72 day Kardashian marriage), we must be willing to seek, pursue, and relentlessly hunt down those two elements of time and hard work. Of course, this assumes the love and the commitment and the forgiveness and the understanding and all of the other necessary qualities that create a strong marriage. However, when we are fighting, when we are discouraged, when we are forlorn, when we are ready to throw in the towel for something easier, it all boils down to hard work. It is hard work to love someone who doesn’t love you. (Jesus did.) It is hard work to forgive someone who doesn’t act like they deserve it or who won’t forgive you back. (Jesus did.) It is hard work to carry it on your own when someone is acting selfishly. (Jesus did.) Let’s face it — marriage is hard work. Unfortunately, that doesn’t sell on Hallmark cards or fit into a 30 second commercial.

Time is the other element critical for a strong marriage. And just as most quality things are not created instantaneously, neither is a strong, quality marriage. Time heals all wounds and time together grows you together. Out on the back property, there is a tree that was growing too close to a barbed wire fence. Over time the tree and the barbed wire fence have grown together. They are now one and cannot be separated from each other. That process did not happen overnight and surely took months and years to develop. I’m sure you have seen other similar examples in nature. And the point is to be well taken. Time is an important element.

I will end with this awesome passage from Proverbs 31. My Godly wife is one of the highest blessings from God that I have received. I cherish it with my life.

Proverbs 31:10-31
Epilogue: The Wife of Noble Character
10 [a] A wife of noble character who can find?
She is worth far more than rubies.
11 Her husband has full confidence in her
and lacks nothing of value.
12 She brings him good, not harm,
all the days of her life.
13 She selects wool and flax
and works with eager hands.
14 She is like the merchant ships,
bringing her food from afar.
15 She gets up while it is still dark;
she provides food for her family
and portions for her servant girls.
16 She considers a field and buys it;
out of her earnings she plants a vineyard.
17 She sets about her work vigorously;
her arms are strong for her tasks.
18 She sees that her trading is profitable,
and her lamp does not go out at night.
19 In her hand she holds the distaff
and grasps the spindle with her fingers.
20 She opens her arms to the poor
and extends her hands to the needy.
21 When it snows, she has no fear for her household;
for all of them are clothed in scarlet.
22 She makes coverings for her bed;
she is clothed in fine linen and purple.
23 Her husband is respected at the city gate,
where he takes his seat among the elders of the land.
24 She makes linen garments and sells them,
and supplies the merchants with sashes.
25 She is clothed with strength and dignity;
she can laugh at the days to come.
26 She speaks with wisdom,
and faithful instruction is on her tongue.
27 She watches over the affairs of her household
and does not eat the bread of idleness.
28 Her children arise and call her blessed;
her husband also, and he praises her:
29 “Many women do noble things,
but you surpass them all.”
30 Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting;
but a woman who fears the LORD is to be praised.
31 Give her the reward she has earned,
and let her works bring her praise at the city gate.

Happy Anniversary, Mrs. Aslowerpace! I love you and am so blessed by God He brought you to me!

…..Dan at aslowerpace dot net

She jumped up as soon as she saw the surgeon come out of the operating room. She said: ‘How is my little boy? Is he going to be all right? When can I see him?’

The surgeon said, ‘I’m sorry. We did all we could, but your boy didn’t make it.’

Sally said, ‘Why do little children get cancer? Doesn’t God care any more? Where were you, God, when my son needed you?’

The surgeon asked, ‘Would you like some time alone with your son? One of the nurses will be out in a few minutes, before he’s transported to the university.’

Sally asked the nurse to stay with her while she said good bye to son. She ran her fingers lovingly through his thick red curly hair. ‘Would you like a lock of his hair?’ the nurse asked. Sally nodded yes. The nurse cut a lock of the boy’s hair, put it in a plastic bag and handed it to Sally.

The mother said, ‘It was Jimmy’s idea to donate his body to the University for Study. He said it might help somebody else. ‘I said no at first, but Jimmy said, ‘ Mom , I won’t be using it after I die. Maybe it will help some other little boy spend one more day with his Mom .’ She went on, ‘My Jimmy had a heart of gold. Always thinking of someone else. Always wanting to help others if he could.’

Sally walked out of Children’s Mercy Hospital for the last time, after spending most of the last six months there. She put the bag with Jimmy’s belongings on the seat beside her in the car.

The drive home was difficult. It was even harder to enter the empty house. She carried Jimmy’s belongings, and the plastic bag with the lock of his hair to her son’s room.

She started placing the model cars and other personal things back in his room exactly where he had always kept them. She lay down across his bed and, hugging his pillow, cried herself to sleep.

It was around midnight when Sally awoke. Lying beside her on the bed was a folded letter. The letter said :

Dear Mom,

I know you’re going to miss me; but don’t think that I will ever forget you, or stop loving you, just ’cause I’m not around to say ‘I Love You’. I will always love you, Mom , even more with each day. Someday we will see each other again. Until then, if you want to adopt a little boy so you won’t be so lonely, that’s okay with me. He can have my room and old stuff to play with. But, if you decide to get a girl instead, she probably wouldn’t like the same things us boys do. You’ll have to buy her dolls and stuff girls like, you know.

Signed with Love from God, Jesus & Me.

…..Dan at aslowerpace dot net

While we were down in Florida last week, it rained one day. All the dads took the opportunity to take the kids to the movie Courageous. It is an inspiring faith movie that I highly recommend. I hope to actually spend some time and do a movie review on it.

However, if you are a dad, you MUST go see it — don’t wait for my summary. Just go!

And, if you must, for further proof, go watch the trailer at http://www.courageousthemovie.com/.

…..Dan at aslowerpace dot net

With our vacation over, we woke up early so we could hit the road and begin the 10 hour road trip home. The truck was packed and we had already cleaned up what needed to be done so all we had to do was wake up, pack up the small remainder, say goodbye and grab some donuts for the road. While packing up the small remaining items into the truck, I looked up at the beautiful morning Florida sky and saw the last stars in the dark blue sky resisting the daylight rushing upon them. Venus was bright and hung brightly and surprisingly, was assaulted by a gorgeous streak of bright light — a shooting star. It began my morning off right as we departed and hit our favorite Florida donut store — the Donut Hole. A dozen donuts are split by a family of 4 so we each selected 3 of our favorites — mine being a blueberry cake, pumpkin spice and devil’s food. Coupled with a tall glass of 2% milk in an adult sippy cup, I was geared to drive 10 hours.

We departed Destin going over the cross bay bridge and were treated to a gorgeous sunrise over the water. Due to my wife’s bridge phobia, I was not able to multi-task and snap a picture while I drove across (which is probably a good thing). However, let me assure you that it was a beautiful send off and nice way to end our time down there.

The 10 hour drive home actually took 12 hours due to potty breaks, two gas stops, a shared What-A-Burger lunch in ‘Bama with one of our vacation families, and more potty breaks. We arrived home to the happy whining of the dogs, the upset meowing of the cats and a mildly chilling autumn evening as the sun went down in Kentucky. We loved our beach week vacation but were all so glad to get back to our country home. We thanked God in prayer for our family time, our safe travels, our return home, and the memories that were created with family and friends.

…..Dan at aslowerpace dot net

The best way to get back into the swing of writing blog posts is just doing it. So enough with the good intentions. Enough with wanting to catch up backlogs to backlogs. As the shoe folks say – “Just do it”.

Our family relationships are critical in more ways than one. Family are some of the closest folks that tend to know us best — good, bad and ugly. They are also the folks we have the biggest influence on. I can guarantee you that my wife, kids, parents and siblings have way more long term and eternal influence on me than any neighbor, boss, co-worker or acquaintances have. So it is very important we give these special God-favoring relationships much respect, honor, and credence. These family relationships will also tend to cross generations and have the biggest “chain” or downstream impact — positive or negative.

On the way home this evening from Scouts, I asked my son if he could do a huge favor for me. He looked over at me inquisitive and said “I think so”.

I prefaced the favor as saying it would probably be one of the biggest, most important favors I would ask of him. His eyes got big and he sheepishly said “OK” in confirmation — even if it was a bit hesitated.

Now thinking through a kid’s mind, he is probably thinking that this is beyond mowing the lawn, cleaning his room, or being diligent in home school. And it was.

I asked him if he would make sure to pass on the love and faith for Jesus Christ to his children. And then when they were of an age of understanding like he is that he would ask this same question of them. His look lightened up and he agreed to the fulfilling of my request, maybe because he then realized that it had nothing to do with his dishevled room.

I then proceeded to explain that it was critical that I pass on my faith in Christ to him and that he does the same for his children and that they do the same for their children. For our faith did not come to us accidentally but rather through our family’s obedient lineage. It is our duty and responsibility to ensure future generations are covered by the forgiveness, salvation and blood of Christ. And one of God’s most entrusted vehicles for that is the family.

As quoted in Deuteronomy 6:7 — “Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up.”

It is extremely critical that we do not neglect this responsibility. It is a mission trip right in our own back yard. One that is ripe, one that is available, one with the greatest potential for acceptance, and one that often is overlooked.

Interestingly, I have recently begun praying for the spouses of each of my kids. While none of them should be getting married any time soon, their spouses are out there and will be 50% of the team that will be raising MY grandchildren. I pray God is preparing their hearts and minds so that when His will finally intersects their paths together, they are put on His joint path and are equally yoked pulling for His kingdom. Additionally, I have also begun praying for my grandchildren who are even farther down the family tree. But prayer is powerful and an integral part of a spiritual walk — my spiritual walk.

I look forward to referencing back on this post to see how God has grown our family tree for His glory. I also need to have that same favor-request conversation with each of my daughters.

…..Dan at aslowerpace dot net

I saw this message on Facebook — it was so touching that it needed to be shared.

Our 14-year-old dog Abbey died last month. The day after she passed away my 4-year-old daughter Meredith was crying and talking about how much she missed Abbey. She asked if we could write a letter to God so that when Abbey got to heaven, God would recognize her. I told her that I thought we could so, and she dictated these words:

Dear God,
Will you please take care of my dog? She died yesterday and is with you in heaven. I miss her very much. I am happy that you let me have her as my dog even though she got sick.

I hope you will play with her. She likes to swim and play with balls. I am sending a picture of her so when you see her you will know that she is my dog. I really miss her.

Love, Meredith

We put the letter in an envelope with a picture of Abbey and Meredith and addressed it to God/Heaven. We put our return address on it. Then Meredith pasted several stamps on the front of the envelope because she said it would take lots of stamps to get the letter all the way to heaven. That afternoon she dropped it into the letter box at the post office. A few days later, she asked if God had gotten the letter yet. I told her that I thought He had.

Yesterday, there was a package wrapped in gold paper on our front porch addressed, ‘To Meredith’ in an unfamiliar hand. Meredith opened it. Inside was a book by Mr. Rogers called, ‘When a Pet Dies.’ Taped to the inside front cover was the letter we had written to God in its opened envelope. On the opposite page was the picture of Abbey & Meredith and this note:

Dear Meredith,
Abbey arrived safely in heaven. Having the picture was a big help and I recognized her right away.
Abbey isn’t sick anymore. Her spirit is here with me just like it stays in your heart. Abbey loved being your dog. Since we don’t need our bodies in heaven, I don’t have any pockets to keep your picture in so I am sending it back to you in this little book for you to keep and have something to remember Abbey by.

Thank you for the beautiful letter and thank your mother for helping you write it and sending it to me. What a wonderful mother you have. I picked her especially for you. I send my blessings every day and remember that I love you very much. By the way, I’m easy to find. I am wherever there is love.

Love, God

…..Dan at aslowerpace dot net

I’ve blogged before about the many “family” variations we have had. Family movie night, family star night, family ice cream night…..you get the idea. Well, tonight we added another variation — family driveway night.

It started with me tinkering out in the garage with Sportscenter on after dinner. My son was still at soccer practice with my wife and the girls meandered outside to just hang out around the outside of the garage. One brought her iPod and rode her bike, the other kicked the soccer ball — and soon enough the Mrs. and D were home.

They joined us as the Monday Night Football game started. The grabbed some chairs and we were all just spending time in and out of the garage as a family. With R going away to college in 12 days, we have been trying to just spend time together as a family — sometimes doing stuff and other times doing nothing. So tonight’s “nothing” ended up being in the garage and out on the driveway. Soon enough it was dark and D ran inside to bring out a dozen or so quilts so everyone could lay on their backs and look at the stars — not very comfortable on the asphalt driveway. But you get the picture. And because of the privacy of our property, we were just able to hang out without seeing anyone or have people drive by.

It made for a nice wind-down evening as we all headed to bed to get ready for a new day tomorrow. So there it is — family driveway night.

…..Dan at aslowerpace dot net

Our worship services for the last few weeks have been focused on the number 7. It is a biblical number that depicts perfection and is used in many parts of Scripture. For example, in Genesis when God created the heavens and the earth and all of creation, He rested on the 7th day. There are other instances of 7 — forgiveness of debts every 7 years in the Old Testament, forgiveness of sins 7 times 70. But the one that was recently focused on that we were trying to practice was resting on the 7th day.

The sermon was very impactful — link here — http://www.southeastchristian.org/default.aspx?page=3476&project=102904&program=446276. I would highly encourage you to go watch or listen to the sermon.

So fast forward to today when my wife and I were taking a nice leisurely ride around the property this afternoon. As we went around the front, I asked my wife if she was going to have my son D mow the front. She replied “Yes, I’ll have him do that tomorrow. I was going to have him do that today, but I wanted to follow our day of rest instead”.

Atta girl! I was so happy for her answer. We all need down time to worship, just rest, and grow closer in our walk with our Creator. And we did lots of that today.

…..Dan at aslowerpace dot net

We are nearing 3+ weeks of scorching hot weather this summer. Usually we get a breather here and there during the summer. But not this year — we have had triple digit heat indexes (temp + factored in humidity) for a while now…..with no relief in sight. Our pool is now a tepid body of water that doesn’t cool you off until you get out and let the breeze hit you. Thank God we have A/C and also a basement.

So this morning, I was chatting with a guy at work and in short conversation asked if I was “staying cool”. I remarked that thermally I was keeping the heat away but, as the father of two teenage girls, I would never be cool.

Sad but true.

…..Dan at aslowerpace dot net