A Slower Pace

I was reading an interesting short article over at Lifehacker.com and stumbled across a comment that was better than the article itself. The original is here but I am cutting and pasting it below in case it goes away.

What Do You Know Now That You Wish You Knew When You Started Your Career?

As with learning things about college in hindsight, it sometimes takes years (maybe even decades) to get wise about our work. If you were going to give career advice to a novice in your field, what would it be?

Patrick McKenzie recently wrote this awesome post (he calls it a README.txt for your career) on what he learned after ten years “and a lot of suffering” as an engineer. Though meant for programmers, there’s great universal advice in there, such as positioning yourself in terms of how you contribute to your company’s bottom line rather than your job title, why if you want to succeed you have to drop the modesty, and how the best jobs happen through networking. It’s a worthwhile read for any stage of your career.

However, we’re asking you, Lifehackers: what are the things you’ve learned since you started working that could help those new to your field or creating a career in general? We learned some fantastic advice about college from you, so let’s share what we know about work now too.

Comment:
When I started, I was all doe-eyed and willing to learn. Anything to get me out of that backwater hell of a childhood. But then, the guy who hired me died on the job right before I started, and they promoted this wet-behind-the-ears guy who worked for him. I swear I knew more than this guy. They even tried to get into my personal life, telling me I couldn’t date because it would interfere with the job. So, I heard this other company started by some guy I knew since I was a kid was recruiting, so I went to apply. I was intrigued by the promise of better on-the-job training. My old bosses didn’t accept my resignation, so I trashed the place on the way out. The biggest problem with the new job was that I had to wear a suit to work. You know, the heavy, itchy, black kind that you can never seem to get comfortable in. I went right to the top. Anyway, it was all great for about 18 years, until the old company I used to work for went through a restructuring, and wanted me back. My boss went after some of their hotshot young employees with some hardball recruiting tactics. Basically, I had enough, and initiated a hostile takeover. That’s when I threw my boss down a reactor shaft and the second Death Star exploded.

Pretty original and pretty funny. For those of you who aren’t Star Wars fans and don’t get it, my apologies. Please come back tomorrow.

…..Dan at aslowerpace dot net

This morning while reading devotions in Proverbs 15, I stumbled across two related and relevant passages in Psalms as I turned the pages. I haven’t quite connected the dots yet, but I believe they became a part of my devotions for a reason.

“I sought the LORD, and he answered me; he delivered me from all my fears. – Psalm 34:4

“He will have no fear of bad news; his heart is steadfast, trusting in the LORD.” – Psalm 112:7

The common word in both passages is fear. And fear is on the other side of faith. Looking at Scripture, fear of the Lord is the only legitimate fear we should have. We should not fear evil, we should not fear the future, we should not fear the unknown, we should not fear spiders or snakes (the last one is more for those with phobias). We’ll see how these passages manifest themselves throughout the rest of the week.

“What, then, shall we say in response to this? If God is for us, who can be against us? He who did not spare his own Son, but gave him up for us all—how will he not also, along with him, graciously give us all things?” – Romans 8:31-32

…..Dan at aslowerpace dot net

15 years ago my wife and I quietly slipped away for the weekend and were joined in the legal union of marriage. We would celebrate with family and friends 6 months later so I have the envious position of, as a guy, having to remember two anniversaries — not just one.

“He who finds a wife finds what is good and receives favor from the LORD.” – Proverbs 18:22

As my wife and I have grown together, joining our journeys together for God and family, I recognize a perspective that can only be seen by looking back and comparing the developing product of our marriage with where it started. And it contains two elements that are critical for a quality marriage — time and hard work. I would compare it to items that are highly sought after for their acquired properties. Items like a fine aged wine; a perfectly shaped mature bonzai tree; a top shelf bourbon. God also has some of these items — but they are much larger. A beautiful, full grown, majestic oak tree; the chiseled valley of Yosemite; the eroded sandstone of the Grand Canyon; the developing islands of Hawaii. All have taken time and hard work to create beauty and value.

“For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh.” – Ephesians 5:31 and Genesis 2:24 (it’s important enough that God put it in the Bible twice)

Marriage is no different. And in these days of some marriages crumbling faster than a sports season (e.g. – the 72 day Kardashian marriage), we must be willing to seek, pursue, and relentlessly hunt down those two elements of time and hard work. Of course, this assumes the love and the commitment and the forgiveness and the understanding and all of the other necessary qualities that create a strong marriage. However, when we are fighting, when we are discouraged, when we are forlorn, when we are ready to throw in the towel for something easier, it all boils down to hard work. It is hard work to love someone who doesn’t love you. (Jesus did.) It is hard work to forgive someone who doesn’t act like they deserve it or who won’t forgive you back. (Jesus did.) It is hard work to carry it on your own when someone is acting selfishly. (Jesus did.) Let’s face it — marriage is hard work. Unfortunately, that doesn’t sell on Hallmark cards or fit into a 30 second commercial.

Time is the other element critical for a strong marriage. And just as most quality things are not created instantaneously, neither is a strong, quality marriage. Time heals all wounds and time together grows you together. Out on the back property, there is a tree that was growing too close to a barbed wire fence. Over time the tree and the barbed wire fence have grown together. They are now one and cannot be separated from each other. That process did not happen overnight and surely took months and years to develop. I’m sure you have seen other similar examples in nature. And the point is to be well taken. Time is an important element.

I will end with this awesome passage from Proverbs 31. My Godly wife is one of the highest blessings from God that I have received. I cherish it with my life.

Proverbs 31:10-31
Epilogue: The Wife of Noble Character
10 [a] A wife of noble character who can find?
She is worth far more than rubies.
11 Her husband has full confidence in her
and lacks nothing of value.
12 She brings him good, not harm,
all the days of her life.
13 She selects wool and flax
and works with eager hands.
14 She is like the merchant ships,
bringing her food from afar.
15 She gets up while it is still dark;
she provides food for her family
and portions for her servant girls.
16 She considers a field and buys it;
out of her earnings she plants a vineyard.
17 She sets about her work vigorously;
her arms are strong for her tasks.
18 She sees that her trading is profitable,
and her lamp does not go out at night.
19 In her hand she holds the distaff
and grasps the spindle with her fingers.
20 She opens her arms to the poor
and extends her hands to the needy.
21 When it snows, she has no fear for her household;
for all of them are clothed in scarlet.
22 She makes coverings for her bed;
she is clothed in fine linen and purple.
23 Her husband is respected at the city gate,
where he takes his seat among the elders of the land.
24 She makes linen garments and sells them,
and supplies the merchants with sashes.
25 She is clothed with strength and dignity;
she can laugh at the days to come.
26 She speaks with wisdom,
and faithful instruction is on her tongue.
27 She watches over the affairs of her household
and does not eat the bread of idleness.
28 Her children arise and call her blessed;
her husband also, and he praises her:
29 “Many women do noble things,
but you surpass them all.”
30 Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting;
but a woman who fears the LORD is to be praised.
31 Give her the reward she has earned,
and let her works bring her praise at the city gate.

Happy Anniversary, Mrs. Aslowerpace! I love you and am so blessed by God He brought you to me!

…..Dan at aslowerpace dot net

Today was a day of chores. My wife and I were able to get a lot done in anticipation of winter. The pool is closed, the property prepped, the house is Fall cleaned (the 6 month off set of Spring cleaning), and finances set. And as we wrapped up Saturday’s work, the sun peeked through the partly cloudy skies to illuminate the tree line behind the house which was in mid-season leaf colors. Add to the scene the darker sky with cloud ripples and it sure was a nice sight to behold.

…..Dan at aslowerpace dot net

I am not a huge baseball fan but sometimes get caught up in the post-season drama — especially when it includes teams that have some significance to me (Texas Rangers, Detroit Tigers, LA Dodgers). So I was guilty of jumping on the bandwagon and watching some of the World Series games. I did not watch the games in their entirety nor was I particularly passionate — but I was rooting for the Rangers to recover from losing last year. In fact, I was just a few blocks from AT&T stadium when the Giants won the series last year.

I was quite impressed during the 7th inning stretch that they had a talented somebody or other come out onto the field and perform one of the best renditions of “God Bless America” that I have heard in a long time. What was even more impressive was that the entire crowd sang along and, at times, drowned him out. I should not be surprised given that St Louis is smack in the middle of the midwest which is an unappreciated section of our country. Sure, the midwest is not flashy or techie or even blessed with glorious scenery other than the windswept plains. However, their folks are some of the most genuine in our nation and they have a great spiritual foundation. It sure was neat to see them rise to the occasion to sing praises to our God and our country.

I hope they enjoy their Cardinals victory. Especially after the Joplin disaster, it couldn’t go to better folks.

…..Dan at aslowerpace dot net

She jumped up as soon as she saw the surgeon come out of the operating room. She said: ‘How is my little boy? Is he going to be all right? When can I see him?’

The surgeon said, ‘I’m sorry. We did all we could, but your boy didn’t make it.’

Sally said, ‘Why do little children get cancer? Doesn’t God care any more? Where were you, God, when my son needed you?’

The surgeon asked, ‘Would you like some time alone with your son? One of the nurses will be out in a few minutes, before he’s transported to the university.’

Sally asked the nurse to stay with her while she said good bye to son. She ran her fingers lovingly through his thick red curly hair. ‘Would you like a lock of his hair?’ the nurse asked. Sally nodded yes. The nurse cut a lock of the boy’s hair, put it in a plastic bag and handed it to Sally.

The mother said, ‘It was Jimmy’s idea to donate his body to the University for Study. He said it might help somebody else. ‘I said no at first, but Jimmy said, ‘ Mom , I won’t be using it after I die. Maybe it will help some other little boy spend one more day with his Mom .’ She went on, ‘My Jimmy had a heart of gold. Always thinking of someone else. Always wanting to help others if he could.’

Sally walked out of Children’s Mercy Hospital for the last time, after spending most of the last six months there. She put the bag with Jimmy’s belongings on the seat beside her in the car.

The drive home was difficult. It was even harder to enter the empty house. She carried Jimmy’s belongings, and the plastic bag with the lock of his hair to her son’s room.

She started placing the model cars and other personal things back in his room exactly where he had always kept them. She lay down across his bed and, hugging his pillow, cried herself to sleep.

It was around midnight when Sally awoke. Lying beside her on the bed was a folded letter. The letter said :

Dear Mom,

I know you’re going to miss me; but don’t think that I will ever forget you, or stop loving you, just ’cause I’m not around to say ‘I Love You’. I will always love you, Mom , even more with each day. Someday we will see each other again. Until then, if you want to adopt a little boy so you won’t be so lonely, that’s okay with me. He can have my room and old stuff to play with. But, if you decide to get a girl instead, she probably wouldn’t like the same things us boys do. You’ll have to buy her dolls and stuff girls like, you know.

Signed with Love from God, Jesus & Me.

…..Dan at aslowerpace dot net

I have not had one of these for quite some time but came across this one during our vacation down in Florida. It is based on Matthew 6:19-21.

“Give what you cannot take with you
so that you can gain what you cannot lose.”

…..Dan at aslowerpace dot net

While we were down in Florida last week, it rained one day. All the dads took the opportunity to take the kids to the movie Courageous. It is an inspiring faith movie that I highly recommend. I hope to actually spend some time and do a movie review on it.

However, if you are a dad, you MUST go see it — don’t wait for my summary. Just go!

And, if you must, for further proof, go watch the trailer at http://www.courageousthemovie.com/.

…..Dan at aslowerpace dot net

I have mentioned a time or two that my wife and I have embarked on the Dave Ramsey Financial Peace University class. It has had a positive, if challenging, impact on us which I will need to blog about at some point.

One impact it had on our vacation was the fact that every expenditure was budgeted and pre-planned. For the first time in our married lives, we returned from vacation with no credit card charges. Even better, we returned with excess cash due to some things coming in under budget. How cool is that?!?!?

One category we eliminated was souvenirs. Because, after all, how much trinket crap do you need in your life? And don’t they all ultimately end up in the garbage or garage sale anyway? However, I still wanted to have something other than memories and photos to remember our wonderful beach vacation together. So I relied upon something I have done in the past and I made a special beach souvenir momento. I bought a six pack of cream soda in decorative clear glass bottles (budgeted under “groceries”), enjoyed them on the beach with help from my son, cleaned them out, and put sand and shells in them as a keepsake. Even my wife got in on the fun and made one for my college bound daughter — it shipped to her today.

So I am officially calling this the “Dave Ramsey souvenir”.

1 cream soda – $1.39
Destin beach sand – free
Vacation momento – priceless

…..Dan at aslowerpace dot net

My football wife cracks me up. As backup history, when we were dating I brainwashed her into liking football. It is now one of those things we do together and she knows more than most guys.

Tonight we are watching the Sunday Night Football pre-show — Indianapolis Colts at New Orleans Saints — and one of the announcers posed the announcer-type questions, “How do you stop the Colts?” (who are 0-6).

My wife replied (to the TV): “What?!?! How do you stop the Colts?!?! How do you START the Colts?”.

I laughed my butt off. She’s so cool!

…..Dan at aslowerpace dot net