A Slower Pace

In reference to my previous post yesterday, one of the things that I thought would help me (and all of us) adjust quicker is to create family memories here in our new home. A while ago back in California, our family started a tradition called “Family Game Night” which was every Friday. We morphed that a little last night into “Family Movie Night”. It was a special night where we ordered pizza, made cupcakes, decorated them with all sorts of cool sprinkles and sugary based substances, dished out ice cream with gooey toppings, and popped in the “Cat In The Hat” DVD on the big screen. It made for a very nice evening as a family and began a new tradition in our house.

This afternoon, my son and I took a stroll out to the front pasture and creek. He rode his bike on the street, threw sticks into the creek and I pushed him as he swung from the rope swing. It was quite chilly outside (39F) but we were dressed for it and enjoyed our time out in the cold sun. Soon enough we had been out there an hour and a half and returned a little bit muddy, not realising the attached muck in all the fun. Again, another Kentucky memory burned into the brain to help in our adjustment.

Late church tomorrow and we are 3 for 3 in 2005!

…..Dan at aslowerpace

As has been my pattern, when there are days between posts, things are going on. Either stress or things to deal with or just plain life catching up with us. This week was no different. However, this time, it was me having a difficult time. My transition with work has been the easiest part of all this. Good people there coupled with a familiar business process and my past work experience has made for a quick learning curve. Other than some longer than expected hours, things there are going well and I am happy about the move. Being a person of routine, I will be happier once the routine settles in.

Where I was having difficulty was with home — not necessarily people or things here, but mostly missing what I left. I covered it in a previous post (link here) — missing my old routine, familiar places, the conveniences and closeness of everything. I guess some of what triggered it were the last several days here of cloudiness and/or rain (no sun), the longer work hours — leave at dark, get home at dark, my oldest daughter’s challenges to adjusting to middle school, the closing process on our old house that I put lots of sweat and tears into and where we made memories as a family — lots of things that challenged our move decision. And then seeing some recent pictures of the kids in California settings — playing in the front lawn, at the beach, at the zoo. All these things combined, welled up inside and brought out a lot of emotion and looking back. Monday morning quarterbacking. Second guessing. Wondering if I did the right thing for our family. This funk was with me for a couple of days. I was more quiet than I normally am. Reserved. I was finally not so busy with the move, with others’ adjusting, with work, with getting things for the house; that I finally had to deal with these emotions rather than putting them off to accomplish something that needed to get done.

I think one thing that finally snapped me out was the realization that I needed to look forward, not backward. Sure, there are things that I was going to miss; to yearn for. However, even in my “funk” I knew logically that we had made the best decision. It didn’t make the emotion easier to deal with. And even in that funk I could still be logical and know it was the best decision but it still didn’t matter at that point. The emotion had to be dealt with. It sucked and at that point I didn’t know what would help — other than time. But I finally came out of it knowing I had to look forward; to be grateful for what I had; to appreciate what was around me here in Kentucky. After this process, I can still look back fondly at pictures, things, people, places and happenings in California. But be very happy that we are in our new home here in Kentucky. And this is not a black and white state of mind. There might be relapses where a friend, a place, a routine, a place in time is missed dearly. But those thoughts will be bittersweet and eventually looked back upon fondly rather than a hole in our being.

One item I read online that caused me to stop, reflect and stop feeling sorry for my pityful self was an article on the recent La Conchita, CA mudslide. The article (original link unavailable — look here) documented the real pain a guy was going through after losing his wife and 3 of 4 daughters to the slide. The article made my problems seem miniscule — and they were in comparison. That helped me move towards the more healthy attitude of looking forward. Looking forward to our adventure here in Kentucky. Looking forward to creating new family memories in our new home. Looking forward to exploring new places with the family. Looking forward to a new routine. Taking advantage of the time I have here with my wife and kids. It all reminds me of a toast I made to a great friend at his wedding. It went something like: “May you thoroughly enjoy the present, with your eyes focused together on the future, while you bask in the glow of the past”. I guess I veered away from that philosophy. Here’s to putting it back in practice.

…..Dan at aslowerpace

While the above title isn’t really what I am insinuating, it was reality this morning. Seems that suburban city boy here takes water heater fuel for granted. See in CA, an endless supply of natural gas is magically piped in keeping your water nice and hot ready for use pulsating against your skin in the shower or washing your Toughskin jeans in the washing machine. Well, out here in the country, it is supplied by a limited capacity tank. The guys at the energy company like to know ahead of time when it gets down to a quarter tank so they can schedule a delivery.

So when suburban city boy (or his wife) call up revealing our lack of country sophistication, they probably got a good laugh. Luckily, my wife went in to the office and nicely chatted with them so not only did we get the friendly Kentucky service by having them come out this afternoon and refill the tank, but they also waived the $75 empty charge.

Now we need to reanalyze our fuel usage. It was at 82% 3 weeks ago! Having 3 guests during the holidays, a cold spell that brought all that snow, a (stupid) gas fireplace that switches on at the flick of a button (instead of a real man’s wood burning fireplace), and baths for the kids all greatly accelerated our usage. No doubt I will be adding a weekly reminder to check the tank level onto my PalmPilot calendar as well as implementing ways to reduce our usage.

It’s just those kind of things that we new country folk need to learn about.

Anyway, now you can join in with the energy guys in their laugh for the day.

…..Dan at aslowerpace

While at work this morning, I got a cellphone call from my wife. Seems that while she and my son were doing some exploring down by the creek, they ran across their first snake. My son wanted to play with it while my wife wanted to go the other way. She ended up using a stick to push it into the creek. Their exploratory hike abruptly ended and she said she will be leaving that kind of stuff to me.

The temps are in the upper 50’s – low 60’s which I think prematurely drew him out of hibernation. He’s in for a rude surprise this weekend when temps are going back down to freezing.

…..Dan at aslowerpace

I just read this article online about journaling and it moved me enough to create this post as quick as I could type it. I won’t begin to try to describe or summarize it. Check out the article here.

Link – http://www.christianitytoday.com/le/2004/003/21.88.html

…..Dan at aslowerpace dot com

Most of the churches around here have signs out front by the road so you can see their service times and other info. Quite a few of them also have messages that change often. I get a kick out of seeing them and will occasionally post a few here.

Here is the first one I am posting that I saw today:

“Sign broken. Message given inside.”

Quite clever.

…..Dan at aslowerpace

This morning we hit the late service and it had about three times the people as the first service last week did. We stayed for a pizza luncheon afterwards and met quite a few people. More baby steps for us.

A quote during the sermon resonated with me.

“You may be the only Bible some people read.”

It goes hand in hand with a prayer I routinely ask — to be a disciple of example. I don’t like people cramming their ideas down my (or anyone else’s) throat. I figure it is much more effective to speak with actions rather than speak with words. Words without action are useless blabbering (kinda like this blog). Actions by themselves are powerful.

The rest of our day was spent as a family doing some errands after church and a few chores before an early dinner. It is now early to bed to prepare for the beginning of the week. That will get us a good night’s sleep which is our first step to a good day and getting it off to a good start. Again, school attitudes are positive this Sunday night which is important but I am also prepared for a step backwards if it happens. If it is two baby steps forward, one step back, that is ok. It will continue to take time acclimating. Going to church today was one more piece of the routine puzzle.

On another positive side, my wife took the freeway to the Kroger’s this afternoon. If you recall from a post on our trip out here, she had trouble driving and has been apprehensive ever since. She has warmed to driving the country roads, but hadn’t conquered the freeway until today. We’re getting there.

…..Dan at aslowerpace

Subject: California

So as not to be outdone by all the redneck, hillbilly, and Texan jokes, you know you’re a Californian if:

1. Your co-worker has 8 body piercing and none are visible.
2. You make over $300,000 and still can’t afford a house.
3. You take a bus and are shocked at two people carrying on a conversation in English.
4. Your child’s 3rd-grade teacher has purple hair, a nose ring, and is named Breeze.
5. You can’t remember . . . is pot illegal?
6. You’ve been to a baby shower that has two mothers and a sperm donor.
7. You have a very strong opinion about where your coffee beans are grown, and you can taste the difference between Sumatran and Ethiopian.
8. You can’t remember . ….is pot illegal?
9. A really great parking space can totally move you to tears.
10. A low speed police pursuit will interrupt ANY TV broadcast.
11. Gas costs $1.00 per gallon more than anywhere else in the U.S.
12. A man gets on the bus in full leather regalia and crotchless chaps, and you don’t even notice.
13. Unlike back home, the guy at 8:30 am at Starbucks’ wearing the baseball cap and sunglasses who looks like George Clooney, really IS George Clooney.
14. Your car insurance costs as much as your house payment.
15. Your hairdresser is straight, your plumber is gay, the woman who delivers you mail is
into S&M and your Mary Kay rep is a guy in drag.
16. You can’t remember . . . . is pot illegal?
17. It’s barely sprinkling rain and there’s a report on every news station: “STORM WATCH.”
18. You pass an elementary school playground and the children are all busy with the cells or pagers.
19. It’s barely sprinkling rain outside, so you leave for work an hour early to avoid all the weather-related s$@# .
20. HEY!!!! Is pot illegal????
21. Both you AND your dog have therapists . . . and lastly,
22. The Terminator is your governor.

I’ve been through a lot during the move and this transition. I’ve made it this far, but the hardest thing so far has been something I am missing right now.

That thing that I am missing is…..the 2005 Consumer Electronics Show.

I know, I know. A tear is welling up in your eye as you imagine a tech geek like me having to go through the of seeing all the new gadget releases on the evening news or worse yet, special CES reviews on TechTV. All without being there. I have attended most of the shows since 1992. I WAS THERE WHEN MICROSOFT PRE-RELEASED MICROSOFT BOB in 1994!!! I still get misty eyed when I caress my MS Bob pin…..his yellow smiley face looking so much like his Wal-Mart cousin. Add to the pain that the show is hosted by the wholesome crowd in Las Vegas. There is a nickel video poker machine somewhere that is screaming my name.

Alas, but in 2005 it is not to be. Too far. Too close to our move date. Too much time away from work. Too new of a situation for me to leave the family. I think I will passify myself with some retro Mattel LED football circa 1981. Bleep, bleep.

…..Dan at aslowerpace

PS – the above pain is still not as great as having to go through cable broadband withdrawals and use dial up.

There are a few things out here in the country that you don’t expect to hear…..like the doorbell. We are too far from the service areas for door to door pizza, too spread out for soliciters and Jehovah’s Witnesses and usually people just plain can’t find you. So when the doorbell rang after dinner Thursday night, it surprised me.

Usually when the doorbell rings, it is the kids ringing it because A) they want into the garage so they can take off their muddy shoes or B) they are just playing with it. Since we were all still in the dining room, it was neither. Turns out, it was the pastor from the church we attended on Sunday. He stopped by to deliver a welcome bag from the congregation. It was a nice outreach symbol and shows that they have some good programs to make a positive impact on the community.

We chatted with him for a few minutes and then let him get back to his family and dinner. It was nice that he could take the time to come all the way out here and make us feel welcome. We’re gonna try the late service tomorrow which has a friendship pizza lunch afterwards. Hopefully, we’ll meet some more people and keep building our new network.

…..Dan at aslowerpace